I spend most of my time wishing I could be a proper author--someone who can write their own ideas and be published. It's been my dream for 15 years. I recently attended a panel at Otakon that confirmed my suspicions that I can't continue doing any fanfic or writing for others if I want to move ahead in that goal. However, I have no good ideas of my own and spend most of my time feeling tired, miserable, and like a hack. I can't keep going like this, and it keeps getting worse and worse. I don't know what to do or how to begin working on my own ideas and digging myself out of the hole I'm in. Nothing makes me happy with my writing anymore. I have no other talents and wish I'd never taken up writing.

I hate everything I do.