I... have something I need to say. I do my best to make everyone happy. I sacrifice everything I can to make sure everyone else gets what they want. I physically exhaust myself running back and forth to help everyone I see. But... what do I get out of this? What thanks do I get? I get trampled on. Beat up. Used as a punching bag for other's repressed feelings. And when something's not done around here, even something small, it's my fault. No matter how much right I've done, I'm wrong for it and I never do anything right. I'll admit, I enjoy doing things for others, I love to see them happy. I love to see a smile on someone's face after I've done something for them, It makes my day complete. I'm... actually quite lost without someone telling me what to do. I can't say no. Even if I want to, I can't. My heart wont allow it. If I see someone in need, I have to drop everything to help them, and I won't stop until I've solved the problem and made things better. I promise things, and I keep those promises. I give my word a lot, and I always make good on my word. Now... I'm not saying I'm perfect, no... I know I'm far from it. I'm cowardly, I fear most everything, and I'm deathly afraid of others. I can't handle being yelled at or people being mad at me. I panic and break down. I can't really do a lot on my own, I need to be told what to do. I won't stand up to anyone or fight back, even if it's the right thing to do. In tough situations, I'm the first to give up and run away. And I really don't talk to anyone about any of this unless they come to me and ask about it, even then, most of the time, I pass it off as nothing. It's not that I don't want to share my feelings, It's that I'm scared to. I'm so afraid of upsetting someone else I'd rather keep all my feelings locked inside and say that I'm not allowed to show my feelings. There's... something else that scares me. Those feelings... have been locked away for so long, that repressed fear, anger, and sorrow, that I can't it let them out, not safely. It scares me, it's like inside me there's a whole other person, one that's the complete opposite of me, one that would do anything to harm someone. I'm afraid if i let it out, it will hurt someone, and I won't be able to stop it. But try as I might, I can't hold it in forever, it will come out, and when It does, people will pay for the things they've done. It remembers everything anyone has ever done to me, and it holds a grudge against each and everyone of them. When I get upset or angry, I can hear it whispering in the back of my head: "Do it. Let me out, set me free. Make them all pay for what they've done. Make them suffer, as they've made you." The day when it is released draws nigh, each and every upset and put down, a step closer to complete disaster, and there is nothing I can do. It's my curse, my burden, and nobody's fault but my own. I am a monster, on the surface, a sweet kind caring person who would do anything for anyone, no questions asked, but just below that, a horrible, hideous, raging, blood-thirsty monster.