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Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeeen! *snickers*
19 years ago
"Life is like trick-or-treating in the ghetto...You never know when you're gonna get a needle in your candy bag."
~Sabby Prentzler
What are your favorite dirty jokes?
I just read this one today. Figured I'd share.
There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lion came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, "How funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?"
After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed the lion and started pumping away.
The lion freaked of course, and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring, he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good time to be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he had to think of something quick because he wasn't going to outrun the lion.
Just then the gorilla saw a hunter's tent and ducked inside to hide.
The hunter, reading the paper, was startled and ran out of the tent. The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter's shirt and hat, and started to read the paper.
A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunter reading the paper, said, "Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in here?"
From behind the paper The gorilla answered, "You mean the one that screwed the lion in the ass?"
Flabergasted, the lion said, "Holy Shit! It's in the paper already?"
~Sabby Prentzler
What are your favorite dirty jokes?
I just read this one today. Figured I'd share.
There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lion came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, "How funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?"
After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed the lion and started pumping away.
The lion freaked of course, and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring, he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good time to be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he had to think of something quick because he wasn't going to outrun the lion.
Just then the gorilla saw a hunter's tent and ducked inside to hide.
The hunter, reading the paper, was startled and ran out of the tent. The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter's shirt and hat, and started to read the paper.
A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunter reading the paper, said, "Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in here?"
From behind the paper The gorilla answered, "You mean the one that screwed the lion in the ass?"
Flabergasted, the lion said, "Holy Shit! It's in the paper already?"
So, after an hour or so, he still can't get the worm into his hole. Johnny's grandfather was watching him all the time, interested to see what would be the outcome of this.
He walks to Johnny and tells him : "Johnny my boy, if you get that worm back in his hole, I'll give you ten bucks ", so as to see the end of this story. So Johnny thinks for a while, runs into the house, and returns with... a bottle of hairspray. He sprays that little worm with hairspray till its as solid as a welding rod, and neatly slips it back into the hole, earning himself ten bucks.
Next morning, grandpa walks into the room, and gives Johnny a hundred bucks.
Johnny looks at him and says, "But grandpa, you already gave me ten bucks!"
Grandpa looks at him and says, "This comes from your grandma..."
here's one with green rather than smut in it:
one day a rabbit was laying under a tree at a lake shore, sucking away on a large piece. "oioiOI," he murmured, "that's the finest stuff i ever had..."
beaver came along, wondering about the rabbit laying like a wet blanket under the tree, and inquired.
"i have this piece of green here, beaver," rabbit said, "the finest stuff on earth, i swear!" and he gave beaver, who was laying down, too, the piece to try it himself.
"oioiOI,", beaver made, "i can see the stars!"
after a while rabbit had an idea. "i've got an idea, beaver," he said. "you can heighten the effect by taking a lung full and take a dive to the other shore of the lake!" beaver was intrigued, and so he did. with a lung full of the finest shit on earth he dove into the water to emerge on the other side of the lake, where he laid down to enjoy the angels who now accompanied the stars he saw.
a hippo came along and saw the beaver laying there like a swig o' water in a curve, and inquired of course.
"rabbit over there, on the other side of the lake, has the finest piece of shit on earth to smoke. it makes you go like, oioiOI!"
"sounds promising," hippo said. "i shall go and see if rabbit has some left for me." with that, hippo dove into the water to emerge at rabbit's feet.
rabbit, startled, jumped up and shouted: "beaver! man, you gotta breathe some time!"