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Nothing makes any sense to me.
12 years ago
I don't understand why nothing is changing for the better, like people keep promising me things will. Keep telling me to believe in and hope for.
I'm trying so hard and nothing is changing. The only news I ever get is bad news. Failure and deprivation.
Why do people still tell me these things, when they have nothing but evidence to the contrary?
I have no idea what I am doing or going to do. And nobody can tell me anything. Nobody can tell me how they do the things they do and why I cannot. Why I have nothing. Why I am empty. Why I fail everything.
It all makes no sense. A mess of unanswered questions. I'm just existing, apart from the rest of the world, with no idea what is happening around me or what I am supposed to be doing.
I only have dreams.
I don't understand what or who I am. What my purpose is.
I just exist ineffectually. And it scares me. Everything scares me. Not knowing anything. Not functioning. Not being human.
I'm so afraid.
----
Anyway, tomorrow afternoon I have my anxiety coping session. I'll be going on the bus for the first time in years, and walking from the bust stop to the centre, without my mother. I haven't even had a chance to practice due to my illness last week. Erk.
I'm trying so hard and nothing is changing. The only news I ever get is bad news. Failure and deprivation.
Why do people still tell me these things, when they have nothing but evidence to the contrary?
I have no idea what I am doing or going to do. And nobody can tell me anything. Nobody can tell me how they do the things they do and why I cannot. Why I have nothing. Why I am empty. Why I fail everything.
It all makes no sense. A mess of unanswered questions. I'm just existing, apart from the rest of the world, with no idea what is happening around me or what I am supposed to be doing.
I only have dreams.
I don't understand what or who I am. What my purpose is.
I just exist ineffectually. And it scares me. Everything scares me. Not knowing anything. Not functioning. Not being human.
I'm so afraid.
----
Anyway, tomorrow afternoon I have my anxiety coping session. I'll be going on the bus for the first time in years, and walking from the bust stop to the centre, without my mother. I haven't even had a chance to practice due to my illness last week. Erk.
Never really tried to put it in words, but hey, know you're not the only one? u wu
Best of luck with your session. I believe in you!
People telling you that errything's gonna be fine isn't too effective either even if they are right. it's like telling people who are reallllllly angry to calm down lol
I don't know how to end this post. I'm dumb so i'm gonna break the second paragraph i said and say: in times of idleness and unsureness, make up your own answer. Make up your own path, your own purpose, your everything.
That or look at one million piccus of cute birdlets