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Screw You.
17 years ago
Okay so, being going through some really tough shit [If you have been keeping up with these journals.]
Haven't been eating, lost around 28lbs in the past month. Self Harming. Suicide thoughts. You know, the usual shit.
Too much shit has gone on.
And on top of everything else, yesterday was my nan's birthday. She died Christmas Day just gone. So we went down to her plot and laid down flowers. I put purple ones down. It was hard because I still haven't accepted her death. We were close. Love her to pieces.
But I'm FINALLY trying to get things sorted. Have took a step forward, have been put on the waiting list for some therapy sessions, and have started to register at my doctors so I can get .. er.. 'Additional help'.
And no, I haven't drawn anything for people. So if you were due a gift art or my part of a trade, you might as well consider it a hopeless cause. Because right now, I couldn't give two shits about getting art done so people are happy. And if you have a problem with me turning around and saying 'Sorry, not going to be able to do it'. Then Fuck you.
Haven't been eating, lost around 28lbs in the past month. Self Harming. Suicide thoughts. You know, the usual shit.
Too much shit has gone on.
And on top of everything else, yesterday was my nan's birthday. She died Christmas Day just gone. So we went down to her plot and laid down flowers. I put purple ones down. It was hard because I still haven't accepted her death. We were close. Love her to pieces.
But I'm FINALLY trying to get things sorted. Have took a step forward, have been put on the waiting list for some therapy sessions, and have started to register at my doctors so I can get .. er.. 'Additional help'.
And no, I haven't drawn anything for people. So if you were due a gift art or my part of a trade, you might as well consider it a hopeless cause. Because right now, I couldn't give two shits about getting art done so people are happy. And if you have a problem with me turning around and saying 'Sorry, not going to be able to do it'. Then Fuck you.
Don't worry, I'm not about to do anything stupid, if I did I'll be locked up in a but house. They're just dying for me to do something to give them a proper excuse to lock me up. But that's not the only reason, you're right when you say 'love is something you can hold onto', because it is. I love my family a hell of a lot, and it's because of them I'm not going to do something stupid. My friends, too. I have a lot of love for everyone/everything out there that has deserved it, and I'm not about to let it go.
*hugs again*
Glad to have dudes like you around to poke me in the right direction of things, or just to listen to my rambling rants about rantshit. =)
FUCK YOU.
I have the right to be rude. I'm rarely a rude person. So when I want to be rude, I FUCKIN' WILL BE.
I'm so sorry for all that's been going on. There's probably not much comfort I can offer over the internet, but take your time, get things right and those that stick around are the ones that count.
and just for good measure *hugs again*
Dont forget her, but you've got to let her go. I know its hard because I've lost in the past, but it will heal in time.
But you need to EAT, sweetie pie! I know you're down in the dumps right now, but putting your body through that will only make it worse. (believe that! ) Losing 28lbs in a month is bad...if you lose weight too fast you could go into kidney failure.
Don't worry, I've started eating again for a while. =)