As excited as I am for Rainfurrest, I'm just not feeling AFC. I'm really almost dreading this con. I hope I'll be pleasantly surprised but really, all of my friends save for a few, have moved to other states and all that's left are the people who only knew me when I was busy being shard's personal attack tiger. IDK. I feel like bad shit's gonna happen and I'm gonna end up feeling like shit about myself for defending an asshole who didn't deserve it. It sucks I got played for a fool so publicly and that I threw away so many opportunities to really have fun in the fandom. Now my experiences will always be marred by this shit. Mystic was right though, he really had all of us going. He played us like fiddles and for a while we bought into it but eventually we all learned the truth. Truth is, he is everything Satorides, Skylar, and Zander said he was and I just had to open my mouth before getting all the facts. I should have listened to Shavii when he told me he was scared for me. I should have listened to Zin when he told me he thought I was being held back. Fuck, I should have listened to Satorides when he told me that clearly shard didn't love me if he was treating me the way he was. I have a lot of regrets, and I know that nothing will ever be the same and that is something I can never forgive him for. You all should see this journal, written by someone who used to rent a room to him. It is spot on, no exaggeration. I guess I knew that when he posted it 2 years ago but I wanted so badly to believe it was everyone else's fault that I was being mistreated so I behaved so irrationally. Shard was a good name for him. He breaks everything he touches.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2376170/
AND
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4473364/