...so since FA has been down, i've had nowhere to try and get commissions and such because i've run into a rather large bump in my life in general.

while everybody is so excited/nervous about going back to classes, i'm stuck home and anxious about life in general. I had to go to the psychiatrist for a re-eval. Well, turns out that i've been ignoring a rather large mental obstruction in my life...I have severe social anxiety disorder which often prevents me from going out in public, or doing everyday things. I've always been anxious out in public...and i'm super wary of people, and am constantly worrying about what they're thinking or saying about me, or just how I look to them, so much so to the point where I will get so worked up I feel faint, dizzy, and short of breath and will go into full spiraled panic attack mode. It can happen anywhere in the general public area...restaurants, stores, even parking lots or in my case last weekend at a football game and at the flea market. It happens even when I am around friends...just being in public makes me so nervous I get anxiety attacks. Which under laws is of course considered a mental disability. It happens at cons too, sometimes even when I am suiting...i'm just a total wreck around people. It may seem like i'm having a good time, but inside i'm freaking out and worrying about all sorts of things. Lately I have also been suffering from severe frequent panic attacks, some of them so bad, that I cannot breathe steadily for hours and I cry and shake and won't move all day...they have been happening frequently since I got home from college...gee, I wonder why..? And now have been happening even more since my aunt has so graciously decided to SELL our home (the only place I have my own room) right after I have just gotten my room all settled and the way I am truly proud of it looking...and there's people coming over all days and times of the week, poking around when I am not here, which of course makes me frantic! Then my father will leave me alone for days with no money or any company or any food in the house...so i'm left with only my dog to talk to and keep me in sorts. *sigh*

This is sounding like a whole lotta nothing so far...but here's where the costs I need to make up are coming in. Since my mother's insurance found out I am not currently in classes, I have to pay out of pocket for my medical expenses. That means, paying for the new anxiety meds i'm on, the psych appointments and consultations, and the counseling I am also in to help with the anxiety coping. This adds up to quite a bit. I just started my first job, and am barely getting paid over minimum wage. (the only reason I am able to deal with the job is because I am working with children, and children do not cause the same type of anxiety since I don't have to worry about them judging me like the general population). This can hardly put a dent in it. Also, the psych prescribed Tonk to me as a psychiatric service dog (PSD) to assist in distracting me from being anxious out in public. This means, I had to buy him a harness, and vest, and ID tags, as well as information about PSD cards, and get him a vet exam. This has also cost me in excess of $150 - $200 which again I had to pay. See where the money need for commissions and such come in?

I'm struggling here. So, I say i'm open for all types of commissions, be they digital, or traditional. From toony, to hyper realism in all shapes and sizes. Badges, portraits, busts, adult pieces...hell, I dunno. Just anything to help me ease the financial dent this mental discovery has put in my life. For examples you can just look on through my gallery here at  grumpydog or my adult account  creamycheese

tips are appreciated too...but not required.

tip money can go via paypal to grumpydoggraphics(at)gmail(dot)com and anybody who just decides to give a bit, even a little will surely get at least a sketch or doodle or chibi or SOMETHING from me as I sort through this.

Sharing journals helps too...If you could get the word out i'd be so touched and grateful. It'd mean the world to me if people help and commission me/repost/donate or WHATEVER! :)