I sit here typing on this computer for the final time. I am finally able to sit back and write this. At last, I am going to be leaving this clinic that has made my life miserable and burnt out for nearly the last year. While there were a lot of bad point to this clinic, there were still some good times.
This clinic, as much as I hate to admit, saved my career. I was an inch of quitting the field after such a horrid experience at a previous clinic. Slowly though, I watched this clinic turn from a place I loved to work at to another version of the clinic I had left. The only difference was that I was a senior this time round and didn't take the brunt of the abuse most of my juniors had to endure.
I think about the many vets I have come and gone. One, I remember us growing together before he left for his family. I remember others who have touched my life in more ways than one. I think of various vets...ok...9, looking for mentorship and not getting it. I was forced into a mentorship position for a rank higher than mine. Obviously, it didn't work too well. Still, I tried. Then, became the person to pump someone back up when they were deflated by an unreasonable boss.
I could sit here bashing my boss all day. In fact, I am very tempted to do that. However, amidst the cold shoulder I am getting from her. The blame for starting the resignation of senior members, I had wished for a more amiable leaving. We pushed through so many rough cases together, from blasting through 4 surgeries to finding out a dog had an elastic band tied around its muzzle for nearly a week all the way to looking at a dog with its head nearly chopped off with a machete. I am admittedly a bit sad that my send off is being done by another senior vet without her present (or even looking at me for the last week).
Admittedly, it is fitting. It is this vet that saved me. I am still happy earning a send off by her in lieu. (Damn it, I'm getting misty eyed)
I will miss the rewards of teaching. However, I can sit back now and know that I at least made a difference in someone's career. I was someone's Anne, I was also someone else's Dr. Singh. I made someone's experience at the clinic, I also helped someone keep going. I was no one's confidante until I handed in my letter of resignation. My resignation surprised all, even my TA. It opened me up to a world I never expected. I wasn't the only one in my struggle, I wasn't the only one who felt frustrated and pent up. The stories I heard, the rants were scary at the very least.
I saw loads of Tech assistants and receptionists leave. Some were better than others. I wish more than anything I could still continue working with my most trusted TA. I could rely on him on almost anything...in fact I had him do a good chunk of my work within certification limits whenever I could. As long as he can count to 28, I'm ok with that. I watched loads of TA/Reception reach their limits. A few of them watched me nearly hit mine...One made a bet that I would "Go kung fu" on the boss' ass. Ironically enough, I'm the only one to have succeeded in pissing her off to this degree...Well, I saw reception get decimated...that was fun.
Recently, I was glad to work with an old coworker from the beginning of my career once again. One big disappointment with me leaving is not being able to work with him again. I wanted to see just how much damage he can fix. In working with him again, I realize how far I've come. In me working with him in the past, was confident I have found a better mentor and rock for the new vets.
It is so easy to celebrate leaving. Sadly, it is just as easy to miss the people I loved working with. For once, it is me in control of who departs. For once, it is me departing and leaving them behind. It is strange for people to be sad to see me go. Then, I realize that I've always been there for them, from the start of their time here even from the start of their career. Still, it is time for me to get outta here. Adios