I had one of those mornings where I just wake up, know I'm awake, and despite any need for caffeine or other such things, I'm stuck with this urge to do something.

Since I am supposed to be a writer (I say supposed because I have these ungodly high standards of what I think a writer should BE...) I am writing.

I have so many influences now that happened just before the con to try and get me back and going on the inevitable goal of my life. To see my name on a book, on a shelf, where people can go 'Hey, I know that guy!' and sometimes doing stupid things like taking pictures of said book on shelf.

There are so many people I know now inside and outside the furry fandom that I have so much respect for, and feel like are part of that seemingly unattainable bar in life. Kyell Gold, Mary Lowd, and Phil Geusz to name a few. They've all done it, and they've all shown themselves to be not only professional, but also very likeable people. Phil especially gives me the kind of feeling like I'm not sitting with a stranger, but like a relative you're always looking forwards to seeing.

For those that don't know, I help build and craft the writing track for Rainfurrest. I also occasionally panel for it, when I'm not running around with the typical feline ADD you get with more cat furres. Yeah, I used that word, but what can you do? This is furaffinity, this is my stream of consciousness... ya'll can read and groan at your own peril.

ANYWAYS...

One of the perks of being on staff as the person who crafts the writing track is I get to meet all these authors. People who've gotten stuff published small and large. People who really show that writing can be just like any other job, except it's one that you really have to put your passion into. Sometimes I feel a bit jealous and out of place with them. I only have 3 published short stories to my name, a couple years worth of fanfic, and whatever gods live among us sooooo many story ideas on the back burner that I start to wonder why I consider this my art/hobby when I do so little.

Truth is, I write all the time. Character design for games... on MUCKs... I work application staff for one game, I do design and flavor texts for the combat system on another... so I pour my art out in more subtle ways. Thanks to working with Rainfurrest's charity anthology and writing competition, I've been learning the art of how to be something like a slush reader. Going through the pile to find those bits of gold we think the world wants to see.

The single biggest shot in my arm this year was doing Flash Fiction. I kid you not, if you want an exercise in sheer bravery... let people tell you what to write, give you an hour to do it in, and then read it in front of them? I was nervous the whole time, but the applause at the end, and the positive comments from the other panelists really made me feel like I can make this goal of mine.

So... thanks everyone. Not just the people who I've come to admire, but the people who came to see us all.