Yeah this may be the first time I'm writing of this so openly. I'd have to vent it somewhere. If anything just ignore, for this is of my own doing. I feel so damned bad, because of where I am, and what I'm doing. I hate the fact that one decision I took was blown so out of proportion. I merely wanted to, for myself, look for a better place to live, get a job, and balance that with studies. Sounds nice right? Not with my parents it's not. My mother's fine, she got the message quick and easy. She's okay with my doing this. My father however, follows such a mentality known to be a big thing around thirty-five to forty years ago. Very conservative man. He's one to go:" Do whatever you decide... it's wrong and you're doomed to fail, but hey, do what you want." it sickens me, and as much as I try not to think about it, it's repulses me to say that the thought goes back into my head. Y'know normally, this is something I'd expect to be a good thing wouldn't it? I mean, to leave the house, generate one's own income, learn to live by one self... sounds nice. My father made it sound like the worst decision I could ever make. So much so, I feel very very sad, and even though in a sense I feel like I'm drowning on a glass of water, the desperation to do this on a deadline my father set has me even more nervous. I don't know how this feeling exists, but I have found it. I hate my father. I honestly do.