Thank you.

Recently I've gone through a depressive mood swing, from the result of making C's on all my exams, the fallout of funding from my parents to get my own house, and the stress of commuting to college without AC. It was Thursday when we were going over our accounting homework when the instructor said "I notice a lot of you have blank pieces of paper and are just copying what I write on the board. If you're not going to do the homework, just give me a drop slip because it's obvious you'll fail." He doesn't take the homework for a grade, but we do take a quiz on it afterwards. I had done my homework, even typed it out (my handwriting is shitty), but I noticed I had made some obvious formatting mistakes that I didn't think twice about and missed one of the major problems. It was then the looming thought played over and over in my mind "I should just drop out of college all together."

I still kinda want to, even though everyone's like "Oh no! You'll regret it!" But I partially don't care. This is too much effort with too many life problems. I've had to take over my parent's finances as the family book keeper because they can't take care of their shit, and we're now having problems with my mom's car which brings her substantial income. I need to move out, I am constantly craving affection for every hot piece of ass I see, and after that class on Thursday I just wanted to collide with a car on the way home just to finish the misery.

I know I'm whining, complaining, and looking for attention; but I can't help it. I crave the future and want to climb up out of the present but even more I just don't want to be here in time to begin with. I just want to be lost to the matter of existence.

But I still thank you to my friends who have listened to me on skype and Yahoo! I'll push on, but I'm tired and want to end the story.