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Oh look, two days in a row.. I blame art.
12 years ago
I have a few projects/open stuff going on at the moment. My http://liquidchaos.deviantart.com/j.....hing-399885054 and my http://liquidchaos.deviantart.com/j.....ames-380711646 going on for those who are interested. Just some of it's for fun and some of it is in support of others cause that's all it feels like I'm good for anymore. Supporting others. Bleh.
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
It's been that kind of year for me. There have been a lot of things I've seen in the light that I really have not liked about myself, and my actions haven't always matched what I have asked of myself, that is something that I admit with great shame. I never expected myself to be perfect, but I expected myself to do what needed to get done so I could survive. So far, it hasn't been working for me. It's hard to believe when you've had so many nos and people around you seem to think you're not doing what you're saying. I'm getting at a point I don't know what I can do anymore, and that's a scary thought to considered. That there might not be any more fight left, that I am becoming something I always promised myself I wouldn't. I just do not know anymore and I will do my best to fix it... if I can. That's the only promise I got anymore, beyond the one I won't tolerate other things anymore.. I'm worth something, even if it's an honest truth of 'no'...
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
It's been that kind of year for me. There have been a lot of things I've seen in the light that I really have not liked about myself, and my actions haven't always matched what I have asked of myself, that is something that I admit with great shame. I never expected myself to be perfect, but I expected myself to do what needed to get done so I could survive. So far, it hasn't been working for me. It's hard to believe when you've had so many nos and people around you seem to think you're not doing what you're saying. I'm getting at a point I don't know what I can do anymore, and that's a scary thought to considered. That there might not be any more fight left, that I am becoming something I always promised myself I wouldn't. I just do not know anymore and I will do my best to fix it... if I can. That's the only promise I got anymore, beyond the one I won't tolerate other things anymore.. I'm worth something, even if it's an honest truth of 'no'...
