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Convention thoughts.
12 years ago
General
I'd like to share some of my thoughts regarding my future attendance of conventions. I've spoken about this in private with most of my friends already, kind of bouncing the idea off of them and getting feedback.
I have attended Anthrocon every year since 2005. It's been an amazing experience every time and I don't want anyone to think otherwise despite what I'm going to say. But that said, there's just something about that con that has lost its magic for me. I just don't have fun there like I used to. I feel strange saying that since essentially nothing has changed in any dramatic sense since they settled into Pittsburgh, but there's something about those previous years that I look back on, and I smile as I remember just how much fun I was always having.
These past few years at AC, and especially 2013, I just have come away with a feeling of "well this was fun, but it just wasn't as good for me as previous years". I highly suspect one reason, but I'm not sure if it is the root of the problem. Again, I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. As I have grown as a person as well as my participation within the fandom, I've come to know a lot more people. I may still be a difficult person to get ahold of in general, and I hang out in the chat rooms a hell of a lot less than I used to, but I communicate more than ever before with people on a one-on-one basis more than I ever have. I'm more personable than I have been in the past, and I frequently reach out to people to hang out and socialize. These are amazing strides I have taken as a person, and naturally it translates from my personal life to my vacation time at these conventions.
...or at least it should, in theory. With each passing year, as Anthrocon grows larger, as there's more for everyone to do, there seems to be no time for people to socialize anymore. And conversely, my convention experience has gotten smaller and smaller. At past cons, even back in 2006, I still found people that had the time of day to socialize and hang out, even for just a bit. And back then I was just a quiet tag-along of other people and not initiating much on my own.
This year I considered myself lucky if I even saw a familiar face in passing. But there was one person in particular that I was looking forward to seeing. I had been in steady communication with him for the past two years and in reality there was nothing else I was looking forward to more, than him. He was my first priority at the con, and I almost never saw him. I'd send him a text or two a day, trying to find out what he was up to without seeming too clingy, ya know? If I ran into him in the calls of the con, I stopped everything I was doing and tried to spend time with him, but he was always on his way to something else. Occasionally I'd get a text back from him, asking what I was doing for lunch or something like that. I'd reply immediately of course, but then I wouldn't hear back from him for the rest of the day.
I vividly remember checking my phone multiple times throughout the day, wondering when or if he'd ever get back to me. It was emotionally draining and by the end of the con I was ready to write off the convention as a complete loss. I had never felt so alone before. It was only Sunday afternoon...Sunday afternoon that I had finally gotten ahold of him where he wasn't running off to something else. We sat down and had a quick lunch with some other friends of his, then we finally got some genuine face time. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tight, rocking him slowly in my arms. No words were needed, I just held him tight against me to let him know how I felt. But it only lasted ten minutes before he said he needed to get to his next social engagement.
It's not enough. That ten minutes saved my convention from being an abysmal emotional failure to at least salvageable, but I can't go through that disappointment and heartache every year. I can separate that event from the person, but not such much from the convention. It's so unlike him to be aloof, but it's a symptom of a bigger problem that I mentioned above and is getting worse. Anthrocon is getting too big for people anymore. Too much to do, too many people to see, and it's just not enough for me anymore to just be at a con simply for photos. I need more from my vacation time. I need people to hang out with. I need someone to hug, I need to be able to sit down and chat with people, I need memories that involve more than being behind a camera.
And so I have been telling people that Anthrocon 2014 will probably be my last Anthrocon because I want to move on to other conventions. I'm still bucking for a promotion at work, but until that happens, I can probably only afford one convention a year. I haven't made a concrete decision yet, but I've been really leaning towards MFF. It's a bit of a safer bet for me. I've been there a few times, I know some people there, and I've had marginally better luck socializing there. It's still big enough that a bunch of people I know still attend. I like the convention space better. The hotel really is beautiful and open, and the time of year is a lot colder so it makes fursuiting easier. And now that I drive, I can get myself there a lot easier (12 hour drive though, ouch).
There's a lot MFF doesn't have that AC does, like dining options and all that. But it's worth putting up with the differences if I get a better shot at seeing people. I won't be at MFF this year, but as this issue progresses and I have more time to think about it, I might be at MFF in 2014. I'll keep you guys updated when I have more information.
I have attended Anthrocon every year since 2005. It's been an amazing experience every time and I don't want anyone to think otherwise despite what I'm going to say. But that said, there's just something about that con that has lost its magic for me. I just don't have fun there like I used to. I feel strange saying that since essentially nothing has changed in any dramatic sense since they settled into Pittsburgh, but there's something about those previous years that I look back on, and I smile as I remember just how much fun I was always having.
These past few years at AC, and especially 2013, I just have come away with a feeling of "well this was fun, but it just wasn't as good for me as previous years". I highly suspect one reason, but I'm not sure if it is the root of the problem. Again, I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. As I have grown as a person as well as my participation within the fandom, I've come to know a lot more people. I may still be a difficult person to get ahold of in general, and I hang out in the chat rooms a hell of a lot less than I used to, but I communicate more than ever before with people on a one-on-one basis more than I ever have. I'm more personable than I have been in the past, and I frequently reach out to people to hang out and socialize. These are amazing strides I have taken as a person, and naturally it translates from my personal life to my vacation time at these conventions.
...or at least it should, in theory. With each passing year, as Anthrocon grows larger, as there's more for everyone to do, there seems to be no time for people to socialize anymore. And conversely, my convention experience has gotten smaller and smaller. At past cons, even back in 2006, I still found people that had the time of day to socialize and hang out, even for just a bit. And back then I was just a quiet tag-along of other people and not initiating much on my own.
This year I considered myself lucky if I even saw a familiar face in passing. But there was one person in particular that I was looking forward to seeing. I had been in steady communication with him for the past two years and in reality there was nothing else I was looking forward to more, than him. He was my first priority at the con, and I almost never saw him. I'd send him a text or two a day, trying to find out what he was up to without seeming too clingy, ya know? If I ran into him in the calls of the con, I stopped everything I was doing and tried to spend time with him, but he was always on his way to something else. Occasionally I'd get a text back from him, asking what I was doing for lunch or something like that. I'd reply immediately of course, but then I wouldn't hear back from him for the rest of the day.
I vividly remember checking my phone multiple times throughout the day, wondering when or if he'd ever get back to me. It was emotionally draining and by the end of the con I was ready to write off the convention as a complete loss. I had never felt so alone before. It was only Sunday afternoon...Sunday afternoon that I had finally gotten ahold of him where he wasn't running off to something else. We sat down and had a quick lunch with some other friends of his, then we finally got some genuine face time. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tight, rocking him slowly in my arms. No words were needed, I just held him tight against me to let him know how I felt. But it only lasted ten minutes before he said he needed to get to his next social engagement.
It's not enough. That ten minutes saved my convention from being an abysmal emotional failure to at least salvageable, but I can't go through that disappointment and heartache every year. I can separate that event from the person, but not such much from the convention. It's so unlike him to be aloof, but it's a symptom of a bigger problem that I mentioned above and is getting worse. Anthrocon is getting too big for people anymore. Too much to do, too many people to see, and it's just not enough for me anymore to just be at a con simply for photos. I need more from my vacation time. I need people to hang out with. I need someone to hug, I need to be able to sit down and chat with people, I need memories that involve more than being behind a camera.
And so I have been telling people that Anthrocon 2014 will probably be my last Anthrocon because I want to move on to other conventions. I'm still bucking for a promotion at work, but until that happens, I can probably only afford one convention a year. I haven't made a concrete decision yet, but I've been really leaning towards MFF. It's a bit of a safer bet for me. I've been there a few times, I know some people there, and I've had marginally better luck socializing there. It's still big enough that a bunch of people I know still attend. I like the convention space better. The hotel really is beautiful and open, and the time of year is a lot colder so it makes fursuiting easier. And now that I drive, I can get myself there a lot easier (12 hour drive though, ouch).
There's a lot MFF doesn't have that AC does, like dining options and all that. But it's worth putting up with the differences if I get a better shot at seeing people. I won't be at MFF this year, but as this issue progresses and I have more time to think about it, I might be at MFF in 2014. I'll keep you guys updated when I have more information.
So glad someone else feels the same way :3
I still regularly go to MFF. Not sure what it is about that con but it's just a better experience.
I'm also working on hitting up more brony conventions, they're pretty much exactly like furry conventions but they still have that "new and exciting" feel to them.