how do you keep going when it feels like every last bit of hope is gone..? when you feel like you don't even have the will to keep pushing forward anymore?

people keep telling me that 'it gets better' and 'you'll heal' and 'you'll find someone new'.. and while that's probably true it doesn't seem like it. it doesn't feel like it. the worst part about all this is knowing that its my fault that I'm in this much pain. that one bad, selfish decision caused this.

the other day my mom said to me 'you're a good man, Andrew'. and just today someone else said it to me at work.. I just wish I believed it. I used to believe that I was an honorable man. an honest man. a man of character. but in the end, after what I've done, I believe myself to be none of those things.