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Furry Life VS. Real Life
12 years ago
General
Hey y'all~!
i've got somethings i've been thinking on...
i know i've not always been the most constantly present and productive
member of the furry community, and i know i fade in and out of activity.
but i wish to be considered a good citizen of the furry community.
my goal for existing is not to be popufur by anymeans but i also
don't want to be a "nobody" either, if people mention me i want someone
to recall having heard my name, or say something positive (and more importantly true) about me.
i do from time to time weigh a HEAVY generalized opinion on the fandom,
not out of spite or hate, but to say " hey if we look at things objectively
there are somethings we can do to improve the fandom, not just the image
but how we relate to things, and interact with each other "
Sometimes these opinions i have do make me seem like an ass,
especially because the internet is text and therefore can have no vocal
inflection... Also i blame my being missunderstood on the fact that i might
be slightly autistic, in the fashion that i really don't get people or
understand where people are coming from most of the time, which makes it INCREDIBLY difficult for me to relate to people, especially in the common way they expect.
(Referring to normal people asking things like ' hows the weather ' - and i
honestly don't give a fuck about the weather)
luckily i've overcome my mild autistic tendancies by becoming a better
listener, i don't always get it right everytime, but i listen to people and pull peices of what they have to say and go off of that... sometimes it frustrates me when people aren't able to do the same with me, they just almost always completely change the subject on me... maybe i'm uninteresting to them or i just basically left nothing but the obvious to be stated...
so in my furry life and in my real life i have certain goals, dreams,
expectations, and somewhere they kind of intersect in the middle...
Even tho me and Crusader Cat are separated, i still wish to finish the comic
as least until EP.5 which will close out " season one " 2 and 3 will likely never
be completed... as i would need his input.
i would like to eventually COMPLETE my 3 coloring books and start to
disribute them, or approach a publisher to get distribution across the US.
and i would like to finally address and put to rest ALL the lies and rumors
going around about me.
Now there are a handful of lies about me that is breaking down a few
friendships
i've had, and doing even more harm by creating irreperable harm to
relationships between myself and individuals i've never met, meaning.. i will never get
a chance to be friends with these people because they've been sold a
lie about me, and they purchased it along with an extended warranty plan.
i know its an unrealistic expectation to want to be friends with EVERYONE in
the fandom, but its not unrealistic to be like i don't want any enemies,
and i don't want anyone to be mad at me, or have a reason to dislike me
and i'm not one to hold contempt for someone else... but this has been
going on (to my knowledge as far as current awareness) over 4 years and
possibly longer...
and From this point i'm no longer Granting anonymity (as i had been in the
past)
to anyone who wishes to spread rumors about me. why ? because the rumors
i've just RECENTLY found out, ARE EXTREMELY SERIOUS! and there is
no proof or evidence that i am guilty, but not only that, these persons
spreading the rumors knowing that i've requested them to stop...
(from back in 2010 - when i didn't even know what was being said about me)
So if it gets back to me that you are spoiling my name you will be called
out and held accountable.
Alexander Katz, Tisket, Ferona (whom i've still never met) ,
Yuki, Dae (although its not her fault that she was lied to about me), Briana...
and the list goes on because i've no idea who is talking shit beyond those
names...
if you want more details as to what i've been accused of you can read my
liveJournal... i'm keeping track of the events from my perspective.
but here's a "short" synopsis:
and yes this has been bugging me lately, and i'm tempted to
quit the fandom, but then thats what those above are wanting...
i have no idea why, since i'm such a nice person... *shrug*
- one con i was trying to interact with Tisket, whom i've known but she was
giving the cold shoulder, i apologized for something that i felt may have
had her act this way towards me, and we said 'we were cool' and dropped it
- @ RCFM 2010 Tisket was in a suit i didn't recognize, well i got too close
and she started kicking me, when they told her to calm down, and i realized it
was her i asked her if she was still mad at me, she said yes, and completely
went off on me.
- sunday at RCFM 2010 Ferona went off on me, someone
i've never met, but she mentioned Tisket by name, so i could only assume
tisket was spreading rumors about me.
- originally i thought the rumors were about being creepy/stalking/persistant
- because i went public on LJ Alex (head of security) silenced me and
played it off like it was MY FAULT this was all happening. i kinda started
to get a glimpse of who's side he was on.
- on a side note EVERYONE tells me not to go public, remain silent,
if i had remained silent to this day i would not know what people were saying
about me, or why i was being treated like trash. (its my reputation i have a
right to speak out and defend myself)
-i was told by Alex i had a "furry restraining order" against me from 2
people, thats it...(tisket,ferona)
-Fast forward from 2010 to 2012
-i was cussed out by a complete stranger at RCFM (Dae, whom never introduced
herself), i assumed the rumors were STILL being spread about me
-i was TXT'd after RCFM by Yuki who threatend to beat me up.
- he said i attempted to rape ms.Trixie
- he also said i drugged Dae (who i had no idea who she was until FWA 2013)
- i emailed the TXT conversation to the NARF email group asking ANYONE who
had any additional info regaurding the rumors or needed to clear the air to
step up... OF COURSE NO ONE SAID ANYTHING so that means no one is
spreading rumors anymore right?
-FWA 2013 a friend of Dae's introduced her as Dae to someone else, as i
happened to be walking by (waiting in line at the elevator) (so i remembered
her name)
-APR 2013 - looked up Dae on FA, found her Journal where she had been Drugged
at a con in 2009....
-went back and re-read the statement yuki wrote about ME drugging Dae
- walked around for an hour going " What Tha Fuck!? "
-contacted Dae Via email, confirmed she 100% believes i did it, cannot get her
to agree to stop telling people i did, Said that ALEX (head of security) told
her that i drugged her.
-OCT 2013 - "anonymous" confession posted on FaceBook about me being
a creepy person that rapes people,
- non anonymous person (Briana) posted that i indeed drugged people and warned
people to " be cautious "
-FB PM'ed briana to ask whom it was that was drugging people, she told me
" you know who it is" and proceeded to cuss me out.
-this week, been going over all the notes i've kept up with surrounding
these accusations, realized a lot of things, but one key thing is that
Alex neglected to mention anything about Dae being drugged in 2009,
also neglected to mention that he was the one who told her i (supposedly)
did it, and finally told me it was only the 2 ladies i needed to avoid,
not Dae (which would have made a 3rd) whom he claims i drugged.
OK well, now that i got the bullet points out there, i just wanted people
to know where there are gaps there is more information, which can be
found on my LJ or you could Email me and just ask me...
i'm sure most of you are like any other furries and LOOOOOVE Drama
but i'd rather satisfy your curiousity with the uninteresting truth, than
let these trashy-rumor-mongering furries continue to take a dump on my
reputation.
i want to definitively state that:
1 - i am a homosexual i do not find women sexually attractive.
2 - i've never raped anyone, at a convention, or otherwise any location.
3 - i've never drugged anyone, i don't even know where one would even secure
drugs like that.
4 - although sex with furries is common and extremely awkward at times
(especially initiation) i've never done anything intentionally to make anyone
uncommfortable, or put them in a compromised situation where they would not
have plenty of opporitunity to reject or leave a sexual situation.
5 - all sexual contact i've had with other furries has been completely consentual
i find it completely ridiculous that i have to put it out there like that,
and i'd like to know who my accusers are, its not fair for them to remain
anonymous whilest i have to constantly defend myself from their attacks.
as far as i am aware, there's only the 4 ladies (Dae,Ferona,Tisket,Ms.Trixie)
that have beef with me.
Lastly i will be Dropping out of the Fandom indefinately
well from a social perspective. i'll still maintain a limited online
interaction.
FINALLY i want to invite an open Dialogue and discussion about this.
i'd rather answer the questions, then have to defend myself from lies...
its REALLY hard to debunk something when you don't know whats coming,
the lies are new everytime i hear them, there's always some lil twist
being added. if you want to please PM me about it, and then
i will PM my Email (if you just email me, i won't be looking for an
email from you and therefore it would get lost/ignored...)
its like the 1st time i heard about me drugging someone at a con,
and then i heard a modified version the other day (i've been discussing
this with) that i was the bartender at the party, serving drinks and
drugging multiple people... and of course EVERYONE says they've heard
MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS which comes down to multiple variations of the same
lie told by different people, meaning that the campaign to defame me
is slowly suceeding... and this is my only way to beat it back
is to get the truth out... but a part of that truth is
to acknowledge whats being said... =(
*edited to reformat txt/word spacing*
i've got somethings i've been thinking on...
i know i've not always been the most constantly present and productive
member of the furry community, and i know i fade in and out of activity.
but i wish to be considered a good citizen of the furry community.
my goal for existing is not to be popufur by anymeans but i also
don't want to be a "nobody" either, if people mention me i want someone
to recall having heard my name, or say something positive (and more importantly true) about me.
i do from time to time weigh a HEAVY generalized opinion on the fandom,
not out of spite or hate, but to say " hey if we look at things objectively
there are somethings we can do to improve the fandom, not just the image
but how we relate to things, and interact with each other "
Sometimes these opinions i have do make me seem like an ass,
especially because the internet is text and therefore can have no vocal
inflection... Also i blame my being missunderstood on the fact that i might
be slightly autistic, in the fashion that i really don't get people or
understand where people are coming from most of the time, which makes it INCREDIBLY difficult for me to relate to people, especially in the common way they expect.
(Referring to normal people asking things like ' hows the weather ' - and i
honestly don't give a fuck about the weather)
luckily i've overcome my mild autistic tendancies by becoming a better
listener, i don't always get it right everytime, but i listen to people and pull peices of what they have to say and go off of that... sometimes it frustrates me when people aren't able to do the same with me, they just almost always completely change the subject on me... maybe i'm uninteresting to them or i just basically left nothing but the obvious to be stated...
so in my furry life and in my real life i have certain goals, dreams,
expectations, and somewhere they kind of intersect in the middle...
Even tho me and Crusader Cat are separated, i still wish to finish the comic
as least until EP.5 which will close out " season one " 2 and 3 will likely never
be completed... as i would need his input.
i would like to eventually COMPLETE my 3 coloring books and start to
disribute them, or approach a publisher to get distribution across the US.
and i would like to finally address and put to rest ALL the lies and rumors
going around about me.
Now there are a handful of lies about me that is breaking down a few
friendships
i've had, and doing even more harm by creating irreperable harm to
relationships between myself and individuals i've never met, meaning.. i will never get
a chance to be friends with these people because they've been sold a
lie about me, and they purchased it along with an extended warranty plan.
i know its an unrealistic expectation to want to be friends with EVERYONE in
the fandom, but its not unrealistic to be like i don't want any enemies,
and i don't want anyone to be mad at me, or have a reason to dislike me
and i'm not one to hold contempt for someone else... but this has been
going on (to my knowledge as far as current awareness) over 4 years and
possibly longer...
and From this point i'm no longer Granting anonymity (as i had been in the
past)
to anyone who wishes to spread rumors about me. why ? because the rumors
i've just RECENTLY found out, ARE EXTREMELY SERIOUS! and there is
no proof or evidence that i am guilty, but not only that, these persons
spreading the rumors knowing that i've requested them to stop...
(from back in 2010 - when i didn't even know what was being said about me)
So if it gets back to me that you are spoiling my name you will be called
out and held accountable.
Alexander Katz, Tisket, Ferona (whom i've still never met) ,
Yuki, Dae (although its not her fault that she was lied to about me), Briana...
and the list goes on because i've no idea who is talking shit beyond those
names...
if you want more details as to what i've been accused of you can read my
liveJournal... i'm keeping track of the events from my perspective.
but here's a "short" synopsis:
and yes this has been bugging me lately, and i'm tempted to
quit the fandom, but then thats what those above are wanting...
i have no idea why, since i'm such a nice person... *shrug*
- one con i was trying to interact with Tisket, whom i've known but she was
giving the cold shoulder, i apologized for something that i felt may have
had her act this way towards me, and we said 'we were cool' and dropped it
- @ RCFM 2010 Tisket was in a suit i didn't recognize, well i got too close
and she started kicking me, when they told her to calm down, and i realized it
was her i asked her if she was still mad at me, she said yes, and completely
went off on me.
- sunday at RCFM 2010 Ferona went off on me, someone
i've never met, but she mentioned Tisket by name, so i could only assume
tisket was spreading rumors about me.
- originally i thought the rumors were about being creepy/stalking/persistant
- because i went public on LJ Alex (head of security) silenced me and
played it off like it was MY FAULT this was all happening. i kinda started
to get a glimpse of who's side he was on.
- on a side note EVERYONE tells me not to go public, remain silent,
if i had remained silent to this day i would not know what people were saying
about me, or why i was being treated like trash. (its my reputation i have a
right to speak out and defend myself)
-i was told by Alex i had a "furry restraining order" against me from 2
people, thats it...(tisket,ferona)
-Fast forward from 2010 to 2012
-i was cussed out by a complete stranger at RCFM (Dae, whom never introduced
herself), i assumed the rumors were STILL being spread about me
-i was TXT'd after RCFM by Yuki who threatend to beat me up.
- he said i attempted to rape ms.Trixie
- he also said i drugged Dae (who i had no idea who she was until FWA 2013)
- i emailed the TXT conversation to the NARF email group asking ANYONE who
had any additional info regaurding the rumors or needed to clear the air to
step up... OF COURSE NO ONE SAID ANYTHING so that means no one is
spreading rumors anymore right?
-FWA 2013 a friend of Dae's introduced her as Dae to someone else, as i
happened to be walking by (waiting in line at the elevator) (so i remembered
her name)
-APR 2013 - looked up Dae on FA, found her Journal where she had been Drugged
at a con in 2009....
-went back and re-read the statement yuki wrote about ME drugging Dae
- walked around for an hour going " What Tha Fuck!? "
-contacted Dae Via email, confirmed she 100% believes i did it, cannot get her
to agree to stop telling people i did, Said that ALEX (head of security) told
her that i drugged her.
-OCT 2013 - "anonymous" confession posted on FaceBook about me being
a creepy person that rapes people,
- non anonymous person (Briana) posted that i indeed drugged people and warned
people to " be cautious "
-FB PM'ed briana to ask whom it was that was drugging people, she told me
" you know who it is" and proceeded to cuss me out.
-this week, been going over all the notes i've kept up with surrounding
these accusations, realized a lot of things, but one key thing is that
Alex neglected to mention anything about Dae being drugged in 2009,
also neglected to mention that he was the one who told her i (supposedly)
did it, and finally told me it was only the 2 ladies i needed to avoid,
not Dae (which would have made a 3rd) whom he claims i drugged.
OK well, now that i got the bullet points out there, i just wanted people
to know where there are gaps there is more information, which can be
found on my LJ or you could Email me and just ask me...
i'm sure most of you are like any other furries and LOOOOOVE Drama
but i'd rather satisfy your curiousity with the uninteresting truth, than
let these trashy-rumor-mongering furries continue to take a dump on my
reputation.
i want to definitively state that:
1 - i am a homosexual i do not find women sexually attractive.
2 - i've never raped anyone, at a convention, or otherwise any location.
3 - i've never drugged anyone, i don't even know where one would even secure
drugs like that.
4 - although sex with furries is common and extremely awkward at times
(especially initiation) i've never done anything intentionally to make anyone
uncommfortable, or put them in a compromised situation where they would not
have plenty of opporitunity to reject or leave a sexual situation.
5 - all sexual contact i've had with other furries has been completely consentual
i find it completely ridiculous that i have to put it out there like that,
and i'd like to know who my accusers are, its not fair for them to remain
anonymous whilest i have to constantly defend myself from their attacks.
as far as i am aware, there's only the 4 ladies (Dae,Ferona,Tisket,Ms.Trixie)
that have beef with me.
Lastly i will be Dropping out of the Fandom indefinately
well from a social perspective. i'll still maintain a limited online
interaction.
FINALLY i want to invite an open Dialogue and discussion about this.
i'd rather answer the questions, then have to defend myself from lies...
its REALLY hard to debunk something when you don't know whats coming,
the lies are new everytime i hear them, there's always some lil twist
being added. if you want to please PM me about it, and then
i will PM my Email (if you just email me, i won't be looking for an
email from you and therefore it would get lost/ignored...)
its like the 1st time i heard about me drugging someone at a con,
and then i heard a modified version the other day (i've been discussing
this with) that i was the bartender at the party, serving drinks and
drugging multiple people... and of course EVERYONE says they've heard
MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS which comes down to multiple variations of the same
lie told by different people, meaning that the campaign to defame me
is slowly suceeding... and this is my only way to beat it back
is to get the truth out... but a part of that truth is
to acknowledge whats being said... =(
*edited to reformat txt/word spacing*
yeah thats the thing i'm a really nice guy,
kinda shy and timid at times, but i try to be
friendly and outgoing. i don't see where this " he gives off a creepy vibe " claim is even coming from, but it works, because everyone that has bought the Lies also would use those words to describe me.
but the strangest thing is, everyone who knows me who has not heard these things about me, but then i tell them they are like WTF no way... but people who i've never met will recoil and pre-emptively cuss me out, which really gives me a supremely bad 1st impression of them. of course furries usually are not aware of self image, how to present onesself or interact in a "normal social setting" so that could always be the reason for such a response rather than an "excuse me"
Will you be there tonight (if they're open)?
is aware of me being this horrible person that
drugs and rapes people. i don't know why i'm not banned at ANY conventions.
But apparently Brody knows a little bit about whats going on, maybe ask him, but to be honest, he doesn't want to be involved one way or the other... which sucks because i've known brody ALMOST as long as i've known you, (i've known him over 10 years)...
And i thought Brody would stick up for me, but
i've NEVER heard of him doing so, and certainly not witnessed it in any of the online forum...
but yeah... you could also talk with Alexander Katz about it, but watch this, i BET you he will be like "blah blah not allowed to discuss that with you... official con business etc" ... while at the same time
warning every female that comes in contact with me that i'm a sexual preditor on the loose, that he hasn't had a chance to remove from the con...
i mean this is all i can gather based on the way his fans have treated me, when i don't even know them for real...
i'm like 5'3" and 135 lbs, and Dae is like 5'8" and 280... so i don't know how i'd expect to take her anywhere, that and if i drugged her why was i no where to be found... that and its pretty serious, yet no police were called, thats the most fucked up part, if i were drugged i'd want a police investigation, fuck the con...
and then Finally the person to accuse me was Alexander Katz head of security, so what if it was actually him that drugged her, and he needed a scapegoat... i'm just at a loss because she (and others) was so gullible to believe it.
Honestly I haven't heard any rumor about you at all. You were always polite and upbeat if not a gentlecat at times. Fancied music and me as a musician.
I have a hard time beliving a rumor would start like this, you are so completly a homosexual.. Heck if you still want to chat the only real time we ever had was at cons. Just drop me a line sometime.
to their original Journal that they wrote to absolve themselves of any wrong doing.
coincidental that the edit is the same Date as this post, pointing to a journal that was
originally dated within a week of the original " do not believe rumors about me " journal i wrote.
but i'm sure i'm just hallucinating again and am a big conspiracy theorist...
i need to start writing more and more shit every week...
when it turns into an unhealthy obsession i will lose all credibility...
for now i like the way the journal reads like a villain's self proclaimational dialouge in a movie just before the epic end battle where good defeats evil.
its too late to scrub it, but it would be funny if you did...
i swear i must be hallucinating all of this... i wish someone could see all of this and be like
" yeah brine i see that, that is messed up "
"don't worry he's just trying to protect the fandom from people like you..."
like who, like me ?? "like you, we've all heard enough things about you..."
and thats how they sound... it drives me mad...