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I no longer need the escape
12 years ago
General
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My overall interest in the furry fandom has decreased a lot during this year. I am no longer compelled to attend events as I once was in the past. I decided to reflect on the matter and understand why I feel this way.
I first got into the fandom at a very low point in my life. I was unemployed, broke, and in massive debt. I was about to go back into the army on a five year enlistment. My friend/roommate introduced me to Second Life especially the furry side of it. I got hooked on the 3D instant messenger feel of it. I made some friends that helped me get through most of my tour in Korea. With three months left on the tour I got introduced to FA to which a whole new world of diversity was opened up to me.
After Korea I was sent to Colorado. My unit really sucked and once again furries came to the rescue. I was stuck in a lifestyle that I detested and my release was all things furry. I came across a few people that have impacted outlook on the world. These people also helped me out during a super low point in my life called Afghanistan deployment. If it wasn't for them I would have killed myself. I still chat with a handful of them on a regular basis.
After ten years of being a soldier I still thought about army like situations. Over time I have learned to put the past behind me. Soldiering is over for me, there is no point in continuing to think about it. I have some friends that still talk about the old unit, but I always tell them that I haven't followed unit politics since I got out. I found that as I thought less about the army, I felt less of a need to associate with the fandom. My life as it is now is pretty damn good, perhaps the best it has ever been in a very long time. I am slowly getting used to it and I have finally been able to release a lot of baggage that I was holding on to.
I realized that for me the fandom was a coping mechanism, something that I needed to keep going when the world around me was shit. Now that my life is great I have no need for a coping mechanism to escape it. I love the art and will pop in from time to time to check it out, but in nearly every other aspect I'll be absent. I may still go to RMFC, but I do not think I'll go to other cons.
The fandom has been very good to me and I'll always keep a part of it as my identity. Lets see where else life will take me. :3
I first got into the fandom at a very low point in my life. I was unemployed, broke, and in massive debt. I was about to go back into the army on a five year enlistment. My friend/roommate introduced me to Second Life especially the furry side of it. I got hooked on the 3D instant messenger feel of it. I made some friends that helped me get through most of my tour in Korea. With three months left on the tour I got introduced to FA to which a whole new world of diversity was opened up to me.
After Korea I was sent to Colorado. My unit really sucked and once again furries came to the rescue. I was stuck in a lifestyle that I detested and my release was all things furry. I came across a few people that have impacted outlook on the world. These people also helped me out during a super low point in my life called Afghanistan deployment. If it wasn't for them I would have killed myself. I still chat with a handful of them on a regular basis.
After ten years of being a soldier I still thought about army like situations. Over time I have learned to put the past behind me. Soldiering is over for me, there is no point in continuing to think about it. I have some friends that still talk about the old unit, but I always tell them that I haven't followed unit politics since I got out. I found that as I thought less about the army, I felt less of a need to associate with the fandom. My life as it is now is pretty damn good, perhaps the best it has ever been in a very long time. I am slowly getting used to it and I have finally been able to release a lot of baggage that I was holding on to.
I realized that for me the fandom was a coping mechanism, something that I needed to keep going when the world around me was shit. Now that my life is great I have no need for a coping mechanism to escape it. I love the art and will pop in from time to time to check it out, but in nearly every other aspect I'll be absent. I may still go to RMFC, but I do not think I'll go to other cons.
The fandom has been very good to me and I'll always keep a part of it as my identity. Lets see where else life will take me. :3
Oh well I'll go to the model train show on Nov 12
so I know exactly what you are talking about... if I had some lovable little ferrets and someone to snuggle with at night, I prolly wouldn't be on here much ever, either.
so, *handshakes* see ya when I see ya, if not, then I'll see you in hell if it actually exists.
just think, if hell really DID exist it would be the greatest furry con-party EVER. almost looking forward to that
However, if it's served its purpose for you then consider it a mission that's been accomplished. Sometimes we need to close the book on a chapter of our life in order to allow new ones to begin. Don't feel as if you have some sort of obligation to put more into this than you want to.
Either way you deserve some time in the sun, and I wish you the best with this new chapter. Enjoy being out and away from the bullshit.
Wishing you well on the journey ahead.