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More lamentations(Same thing over and over basically).
12 years ago
General
Seeing everybody boasting about their relationships is killing me. Seeing it all over the media. Seeing it all over the internet. It is ceaseless. I cannot escape it.
I don't know how to cope with the pain and the fear it brings me. How to go about my day seeing happy couples without breaking down. I tear up/ burn up and loose all focus inside every time.
There is so much to remind me of and make me wonder about all I will never know in life. Endless fuel for my depression and my self loathing and suicidal ideation.
I wish there was a guide or advice that could help people alike me but there is nothing- nothing that doesn't just end up tossing out another hunk of coal into the fires in itself.
(Also I'm putting on so much weight from my binge eating to try((and fail)) to cope. It's just one thing to despair about to another.)
I don't know how to cope with the pain and the fear it brings me. How to go about my day seeing happy couples without breaking down. I tear up/ burn up and loose all focus inside every time.
There is so much to remind me of and make me wonder about all I will never know in life. Endless fuel for my depression and my self loathing and suicidal ideation.
I wish there was a guide or advice that could help people alike me but there is nothing- nothing that doesn't just end up tossing out another hunk of coal into the fires in itself.
(Also I'm putting on so much weight from my binge eating to try((and fail)) to cope. It's just one thing to despair about to another.)
Every single piece of advice I get from anyone- professional or not- boils down to, "Things will get better eventually. Other people got better. Don't give up. Have hope. Maybe drugs will help. Maybe drugs wont help.". Nothing practical(Breathing exercises maybe?... Not really... I had tests done, with nothing out of the normal in thyroid or vitamin or bloods), just lot's of encouragement(Which I appreciate immensely but it's still not something "palpable").
But I don't think there is anything that I could accept and would have any significant bearing on this particular situation.
Thank you kindly for offering me help, regardless!