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What' wrong with me....
12 years ago
General
Welcome to Drader Science Labs!
Please have a seat *hands motions to a chair*
Please have a seat *hands motions to a chair*
Okay....okay....I've calmed down some....
Apparently as a child, my mood wasnt always chereful.
My mood always shifted when struck with reality.
Just after i posted my journal on da, my grandfather saw my sudden change in mood from cheerful, to sad and depressed (no i dont have a bipolar disorder). I told him how I was feeling, and he told me that while growing up, when struck with reality, it hits, hard. Really hard. But sometimes it can go days, weeks, or even years for the reality to strike me. The last time reality struck me this hard was back when I was 13, making suicide notes. I was so close to killing myself.
I had no idea about this until now that as a child my mood quickly changed to and from, and got real bad when struck with reality.
I'm sorry for worrying anyone. Maybe I just need a break for a while from the internet for a few days
Apparently as a child, my mood wasnt always chereful.
My mood always shifted when struck with reality.
Just after i posted my journal on da, my grandfather saw my sudden change in mood from cheerful, to sad and depressed (no i dont have a bipolar disorder). I told him how I was feeling, and he told me that while growing up, when struck with reality, it hits, hard. Really hard. But sometimes it can go days, weeks, or even years for the reality to strike me. The last time reality struck me this hard was back when I was 13, making suicide notes. I was so close to killing myself.
I had no idea about this until now that as a child my mood quickly changed to and from, and got real bad when struck with reality.
I'm sorry for worrying anyone. Maybe I just need a break for a while from the internet for a few days
I understand about your serious situation right now for your emotional response to your four questions that you posted earlier. Look at those peoples commented nicely. You are not annoying, they do not liked you, you are not terrible friend, and even.... you are not a terrible artist because you are really good artist! Please do not discourage it in response to your artwork quality it's because you are still practicing to trying to find a way to improving artwork quality as well artwork style. I have faced in the same situation regarding to real life social as well on the internet for 7 years after moved to new location and good things is that I have got over it sometimes (Not easy task to try that; but worth it to find a way to meet my expectations).
Please talk with me or your friends; they will help you for some tips how to improve artwork quality as well to becomes more recognizable artist on FA in someday, someday... I still doing this tips for few years now with some ups and downs.
There is absolutely zero reasons why did someone did not response to your reply and messages that caused you to thinks in that way (related to your questions journal). They are possibly playing video games, went to school/work, reading books, working on artworks and etcs... when their status was online and did not realized that you were trying to say hi to them as well to set their status to either "busy" or "away" because they're distracted easily to their real life interest (eg. video games and etcs). This happened to me way too often everyday and I did actually felt the same way but I have to be patient until they finally talked to me. It wasn't nice feelings but it happened.
Lastly, regarding to your second journal that caused me to get more worrisome because if you give up and leaving DA and FA will caused me to get upside downs, feeling not the same since most of FA users that who are couples is always stayed on FA with sharing their couple icons and artworks, feeling more loner without you on DA/FA, and lastly... relationship can be broken apart because in this situation like this will caused me to have no longer to workout since we have same interest in artwork, FA as well our fetishes and the others. Please.... do not leave FA ever... ok?
Don't forget, more people is usually more available to talk with is on the month of 3/4 of January, 1/4 of February, end of March, end of May, June, July, August, and December because they do not have school and no university/college for a vacation. Worst one for social online due to busy life is on 3/4 of February, April, September, October, and November. (I think you remembered my real life depression situation last month. My mood have been improving and sometimes ups and downs).
In someday when you felt depressed again to some specific reasons. Please, talk with me or your trustful friends when we're online, ok? We'll try to make you feels better.