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Health Emergency, (Commissioners Please Read!)
12 years ago
Hey guys!
So, for those who aren't really interested in the personal stuff, I'm just going to say that for very serious health reasons I'm required to take it easy for a couple days. So I might be a few days late with commissions, but I'm doing my best to still reach all the deadlines I gave you. I'm just putting this up so that if I am late with some things, you will know in advance to expect that, and know that you won't be waiting longer than a week in any case. Thank you for your understanding!
For anyone who is interested in the details, I'll offer a short explanation here, though I'm still not really functioning at full capacity, and I don't remember most of what happened to me.
Last night there were some personal issues with my boyfriend, who suffers from very serious depression. This has been an ongoing thing that we have worked our best to cope with, but last night seemed to be a breaking point for him, and I had to call the police because I was no longer mentally capable of either helping him or personally coping with what was going on. They showed up, and a crisis nurse was brought to the house shortly thereafter, and some plans were made to connect both my boyfriend and myself with some mental health resources(therapy, psychiatric appointments, etc.) to help us work through some issues that are very much in need of being addressed. For me, this is a really big deal, because while my boyfriend has coverage for that kind of help, I don't. I haven't been able to get help because I simply can't afford it, and I need to see specialists that are only available in other cities that I can't afford to travel to. This crisis nurse seems to feel that she can get me those resources affordably, and I have really high hopes for that. ;u;
So after the crisis nurse and police officers left, my boyfriend was just kind of overwhelmed and panicked, and I was very overwhelmed and not really totally "there", and he started talking about how we needed to evaluate the relationship and how healthy it is for each of us, and... I can't remember anything after that. All I can remember after that point are foggy, confused bits and pieces of the evening. I'm not even sure what order they happened in. But apparently I just stopped responding normally, and instead started to repeat words and phrases from memories as far back as 5 years or more ago. Then I started to shake and vomit, and I can remember that my head hurt incredibly. Eventually an ambulance was called, and I was taken to emergency care. I was given fluids, gravol, and painkillers through IV until I was able to articulate some of what happened, and my personal details(name, address, phone number, etc.), I was given a CT scan, they did blood tests, and other physical exams, and while I had a ton of pain and other symptoms, there was no clear physical reason for why I would have those issues. It was determined to be a response to extreme stress... I guess my brain just finally kind of gave up and self-destructed.
So... my memory is still really bad. I can't fully remember who I am right now, and I can't remember much of anything else either. My memory and personality are slowly coming back, but the doctor has told me that I need to take some time to recover and not stress about anything until I'm stable again. I'm groggy and confused, but things are slowly making more sense, and I'm trying to get back into working shape as quickly as I can, since I know I have deadlines to meet right now(I can't remember them all, but I keep really careful records so I won't miss anyone, don't worry!)
I don't remember if I know how to draw properly just yet, but it's coming back to me gradually, and I'm sure I'll be okay soon. I just have to take the time to recover properly or I could cause more serious health issues for myself.
Again, I am really sorry about any delays. I don't want anyone to think that I am making excuses, and I do take all of this very seriously. I know I owe work, and I'm so sorry if it is not delivered absolutely on time. I just can't risk any further health issues, and as of right now, I'm not capable of completing the work correctly and I don't want to deliver sub-par results. I want you all to get what you paid for! <3
I'll make sure to keep things updated, and I expect to be okay again fairly soon. It just might take a day or two for my brain to "reboot".
Thank you for your understanding!
-Excess
So, for those who aren't really interested in the personal stuff, I'm just going to say that for very serious health reasons I'm required to take it easy for a couple days. So I might be a few days late with commissions, but I'm doing my best to still reach all the deadlines I gave you. I'm just putting this up so that if I am late with some things, you will know in advance to expect that, and know that you won't be waiting longer than a week in any case. Thank you for your understanding!
For anyone who is interested in the details, I'll offer a short explanation here, though I'm still not really functioning at full capacity, and I don't remember most of what happened to me.
Last night there were some personal issues with my boyfriend, who suffers from very serious depression. This has been an ongoing thing that we have worked our best to cope with, but last night seemed to be a breaking point for him, and I had to call the police because I was no longer mentally capable of either helping him or personally coping with what was going on. They showed up, and a crisis nurse was brought to the house shortly thereafter, and some plans were made to connect both my boyfriend and myself with some mental health resources(therapy, psychiatric appointments, etc.) to help us work through some issues that are very much in need of being addressed. For me, this is a really big deal, because while my boyfriend has coverage for that kind of help, I don't. I haven't been able to get help because I simply can't afford it, and I need to see specialists that are only available in other cities that I can't afford to travel to. This crisis nurse seems to feel that she can get me those resources affordably, and I have really high hopes for that. ;u;
So after the crisis nurse and police officers left, my boyfriend was just kind of overwhelmed and panicked, and I was very overwhelmed and not really totally "there", and he started talking about how we needed to evaluate the relationship and how healthy it is for each of us, and... I can't remember anything after that. All I can remember after that point are foggy, confused bits and pieces of the evening. I'm not even sure what order they happened in. But apparently I just stopped responding normally, and instead started to repeat words and phrases from memories as far back as 5 years or more ago. Then I started to shake and vomit, and I can remember that my head hurt incredibly. Eventually an ambulance was called, and I was taken to emergency care. I was given fluids, gravol, and painkillers through IV until I was able to articulate some of what happened, and my personal details(name, address, phone number, etc.), I was given a CT scan, they did blood tests, and other physical exams, and while I had a ton of pain and other symptoms, there was no clear physical reason for why I would have those issues. It was determined to be a response to extreme stress... I guess my brain just finally kind of gave up and self-destructed.
So... my memory is still really bad. I can't fully remember who I am right now, and I can't remember much of anything else either. My memory and personality are slowly coming back, but the doctor has told me that I need to take some time to recover and not stress about anything until I'm stable again. I'm groggy and confused, but things are slowly making more sense, and I'm trying to get back into working shape as quickly as I can, since I know I have deadlines to meet right now(I can't remember them all, but I keep really careful records so I won't miss anyone, don't worry!)
I don't remember if I know how to draw properly just yet, but it's coming back to me gradually, and I'm sure I'll be okay soon. I just have to take the time to recover properly or I could cause more serious health issues for myself.
Again, I am really sorry about any delays. I don't want anyone to think that I am making excuses, and I do take all of this very seriously. I know I owe work, and I'm so sorry if it is not delivered absolutely on time. I just can't risk any further health issues, and as of right now, I'm not capable of completing the work correctly and I don't want to deliver sub-par results. I want you all to get what you paid for! <3
I'll make sure to keep things updated, and I expect to be okay again fairly soon. It just might take a day or two for my brain to "reboot".
Thank you for your understanding!
-Excess
Commissions are Closed while I catch up on my current Queue.
Standard Queue:
1. Mark - Large Sleeve Tattoo Design - 4/4 PAID - Painting/Finishing.
2.
barrakoda - Tank Girl Inspired trad. piece - PAID - Sketching
Standard Queue:
1. Mark - Large Sleeve Tattoo Design - 4/4 PAID - Painting/Finishing.
2.
barrakoda - Tank Girl Inspired trad. piece - PAID - Sketching
Dude, hit me up on Skype when you can D: <3
Shit got real for a sec.
Hopefully things get better soon.
But yes, no matter what, take care of yourself first and foremost.
What I'm saying is: take it easy, take your time. You can afford to do art later anytime, you can afford to lose that bit of money, but you really can't afford to lose your health.
Thankfully, I'm doing much better today than I was yesterday, and with a bit of luck I'll be back to normal tomorrow. c:
Spontaneously, this came back to my mind: http://imgur.com/6w697 I couldn't resist, hehe
I'm sorry you're going through this rough patch, and I hope it all works out for the best. Just try and take it easy for a few days, and hopefully your faculties will be restored, and y'all get the psych help you need, in a way you can afford- not being able to get help due to money is wretched, I know.
NOW FORTUNATELY I'm doing much better today! :D There are still some chunks of memory missing, but I'm a lot less confused and my personality is back, and I'm hoping that by tomorrow I'll be back to normal. ;u; I'm gonna try to draw a bit today and get back into the swing of things.
I'm glad you're doing better today, though! With any luck, taking it easy for a bit longer will get everything back into place where it should be.
Any idea what what just happened to you is even called? It sounds insane.
Anyway yo, I'm glad you're okay. 0:
Good to hear you're making a recovery, though! Joyous occasion
Please get better! *Hugglesnstuffs*
Fight for a better day, I believe in you
~Mark
Thank you so much for your support!
I'll probably post up another journal either today or tomorrow just kind of updating people on how things are going. c:
Makes me curious as to whether they gave you an electroencephalogram to see your brain waves, though it may have passed in severity to the degree of not shown any abnormalities on the surface by the time they hooked you up.
I'm curious too. I don't know if they did, to be honest... I can't remember most of what happened. I know they gave me an IV, did some blood work, and did a CT scan. They also did a pelvic exam to check for possible infections, just in case it was caused by that. I can't remember what else they did, if anything. I was really groggy and messed up the whole time I was there.
As far as stress induced seizures go, if they felt it was likely to happen again they would have you trying a light prescription of a drug meant to prevent them. If it doesn't look at all like epilepsy or a pattern of non-epileptic seizures though it's not really worth it to prescribe anything, as it'll likely only happen once in your life.
They most likely did an EEG on you, that's a pretty standard protocol for mysterious symptoms like yours to decide whether it was a seizure or not and whether it's likely to happen again. I'm not reading the results of it myself, but from what I'm gathering here they didn't see anything on your brain waves that was a repetitive abnormal pattern enough to worry them.
I'm sorry to hear that you struggle with schizoaffective disorder. :c That can be so tough to handle, since the symptoms can interact so differently from person to person, and so few people are really able to treat that kind of thing properly. I hope you're doing well! I have dissociative identity disorder, and while I was able to get a sort of pseudo-diagnosis from a therapist I was seeing a while back, she was actually retired(she just did EMDR a couple nights a week because no one is really able to offer that treatment and she wanted to keep helping even though she was retired) and she wasn't able to give me an actual diagnosis. Just a paper with some resources jotted down for ways I could do my own research, and some suggested coping mechanisms. So I still need a clinical diagnosis, but no one in the area is qualified to either diagnose or treat dissociative disorders, let alone DID. So I kind of fell through the cracks, and I've been trying to deal with it on my own. I've been in and out of the hospital for years, seeing different therapists and psychiatrists and psychologists on both inpatient and outpatient basis'. Everyone gave me a different diagnosis, and none of them really made any sense. But I mean, everyone who struggles with their mental health seems to have a story like that, yeknow? It would be nice if there was better support out there. :c
My boyfriend has more easily treated problems, but he just... never really got help. I think he's just afraid of what will happen if he tries to get treated(we've all been there, so I totally understand) so he puts it off a lot. After what happened the other night, he seems to have resolved to really take the necessary steps to get treatment. He has full coverage through his work, so he should be fine. c:
I'm working on that illustration for you too! I had to put it on hold for most of this month since so much work cropped up for me, but I'll be back to making more solid progress on it in about a week, and my goal is to have it done for you by Christmas. c: I'm super excited to see how that doll is looking! You do such fantastic work, and I know you had some cool ideas for this one, so I'm thrilled to see what came out of it! :D Thank you so much for your support, and for sharing some of your story with me. It really means a lot to me to know that I'm not alone. Be strong. <3
it's really fucked up, i know...
you seem like such a great artist, and Amazing workflow. You have a lot of well wishers, know that.
but leestin to me... Cruxes are.... fookt oop in thee head ;9
Good luck ^^
Just take it easy and give yourself some time to collect your thoughts, alright?
I really hope things will keep looking up, stay strong!