So yeah, I'm pissed off. Well, not really. More like disappointed you know? Here's the story, and try not to judge me.

I had a two meetings today, back to back. A Homeroom Rep. meeting and then a Council meeting right afterwards so we could settle out the twelve days of Christmas crap. So after the Homeroom rep meeting one of my friends goes, 'Oh yeah we're going to see Twilight'. So I tell them all that I can't get out of the meeting until four. I don't hear from anyone until like, 3:30 when one of my best friends comes in and tells me that she's leaving to see the movie. I get kinda upset but I'm not about to ask her to leave. Then I get a call at four. The same friend who told me about the event is calling. I pick up and she tells me that I can still come to the movie. I explain that I have no money to go, and I won't be able to get there for the 4:15 showing. It took me twenty minutes to get home and it's another fifteen-twenty to get to the theater. They continue to call and tell me that I can make it. FInally I was all like, 'Yeah, there's only so much disappointment I can stand kay? I don't want to rush over to stumble over people's legs in the dark and have missed like half an hour of the movie.' I know I sound like a selfish twit, but I'm really feeling like crap about this move.

I mean like, come on. How hward would it have been to just reschedule the movie? Not very, we could have gone another day so that I could go to. And now I know that they're all going to be like, 'Oh but we can all go another time.' but that's not the point. I don't want to guilt them into coming to the movie with me, that would make me feel even worse then my current super shitty state of mind.

Now, before you go along thinking that I'm this self-centered bitchy baby, hear me out. I have a crappy family. I know that I'm really lucky and yadda yadda, but it's not the best one going, you know? Now, I have... kind of abandonment issues I guess. So I've come to rely on my friends to be there for me, they're like my primary family for when my biological one sucks. So stuff like this... it's like your mom telling you, 'Oh, we're all going to see that movie that you wanted to see but you can't come. Maybe next time.'

I probably explained this in a really crappy and not-understandable way but it's the best way I can do it. So yeah, any advice?

And the first person to suggest talking to my friends will be shot. I have never cried to one of them about something and I'm not about to start now. I'll just keep telling them that it's fine and put on a smile, no matter how superbly emo that sounds.

On another note, thanks for letting me rant and if you're reading this you probably care about me more then I know. So, thanks