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To be or not to be.... Hamlet Act 3
17 years ago
This is for you, you and you. (Well all you writers out there):
http://www.nanowrimo.org
http://www.nanowrimo.org
I just wanted to put up a random title for this...
General meme:
My name is James Roshal, I am a Bi sexual lion, I am mateded to a wonderfull Fox, I now live with him in Canada, I'm legal age for everything, in other words 21.
I am formerly know as Selendrile Alys, a Red tailed hawk. I now as a key holder (Assistant manger) for a chain store in the town i live at. I am a open and easy to talk to. I served my nation for 3 proud years. During that time I did things that has forever scared my heart. (Hint; Lady Macbeth: Out damn spot, out.) I suffered for a depression when my mother died from cancer in the spine, when I was 9 for 5 years to have a wonderful person pull me out... only to have that one person ripped from my life when that one person was hit by a Drunk Driver... I then went into a major depression. I once called myself a hollow and masked person, completly cold and detached to my family, my firends, to everyone I was a merely a body that showed what others expected from me. I never let anyone near me, I kept them away from my heart, I chained my heart behind barb wires and razor wires, I hid it in the darkest parts of my soul.
Funny thing depression is... I steals parts of you that you never expect it would, I bit of who you were... for me the price was my abilty to be empathic as I once was. So mant people call me distant and cold hearted. I can't claim that I am not able to love, but being detached make it hard to keep mates. I had a mate call me two faced. and I had a mate who used me to get back at his other mate... I had one ripped from me. The worst part of my life was when one fur I called mate pulled me from my 6 year major depression was the same one who used me as a tool of revenge. that nearly drove me off the deep end. I had a best friends who ended his life 2 months after my mate was killed... and I wanted to follow that same path. but a few people I come to truely and deeply love saved my hide from that.
I am a novelest. I writer that loves to write long stories. but I love to write fiction and about furs. my weakness is my spelling and if I'm pressed for time my grammer. Few people that i know turn to me for advice... and to some I give advice to. If the wish to heed it is there choice. They all claim it is sound advice. but I am unsure. I tend to keep my standard low when it come to me. I have little to no self respect or faith for myself. I'm honestly shocked at the number of comments I get on some of my poems... and I equally amazed that I got people who love to give me free art. It hard for me to express my shock... when you spend all but 5 months of your life going down hill it does make things hard for yourself. but with this past 5 months and meeting a few very select firends, my new job and my mate. I feel like my life has changed... from being in the pits, to being assaulted to now moved in with my mate. I to this day still fear I am living in a dream.... But once you achive a challanging goal you set forself... you can never go back, It like a drug you get it once and you hooked for life. it can change your life, it can make you feel better about yourself and lift you up from any of the deepest holes and shine light into the darkest shadows.
But I know this one thing... even if it so small... is this:
That I can sit on my bed and relax with my laptop and to look over my arm and see the sleeping form of my mate... even if his face pressed flush to a wall.
And my biggest fear is:
that I will have to repeat the event that scared my soul.
Thank you:
Yuki for being with me so long, even if we parted paths may our bonds of firendship never sever.
Kairi for the kindness you have shown to my shadowed and wilted soul.
SJ for treading a path of thorns for me when I need the help.
Jas... You have lit the fire in my soul, that death put out. You have gave me reason to chase my goals.
To Zane and Acer for support for the short years I know you to.
and to Arrathir, I know he will not read this unless someone from above passes this to him... Your trust and creation showed me I was never completly dead, I was still myself despite hitting rock bottom in my life. I still has my abilty to lead and create my ideas.
And Roshi and my other friends from home... Thank you so much for your support and respect... somedays it was my only reason to live
PS: wow this is big
General meme:
My name is James Roshal, I am a Bi sexual lion, I am mateded to a wonderfull Fox, I now live with him in Canada, I'm legal age for everything, in other words 21.
I am formerly know as Selendrile Alys, a Red tailed hawk. I now as a key holder (Assistant manger) for a chain store in the town i live at. I am a open and easy to talk to. I served my nation for 3 proud years. During that time I did things that has forever scared my heart. (Hint; Lady Macbeth: Out damn spot, out.) I suffered for a depression when my mother died from cancer in the spine, when I was 9 for 5 years to have a wonderful person pull me out... only to have that one person ripped from my life when that one person was hit by a Drunk Driver... I then went into a major depression. I once called myself a hollow and masked person, completly cold and detached to my family, my firends, to everyone I was a merely a body that showed what others expected from me. I never let anyone near me, I kept them away from my heart, I chained my heart behind barb wires and razor wires, I hid it in the darkest parts of my soul.
Funny thing depression is... I steals parts of you that you never expect it would, I bit of who you were... for me the price was my abilty to be empathic as I once was. So mant people call me distant and cold hearted. I can't claim that I am not able to love, but being detached make it hard to keep mates. I had a mate call me two faced. and I had a mate who used me to get back at his other mate... I had one ripped from me. The worst part of my life was when one fur I called mate pulled me from my 6 year major depression was the same one who used me as a tool of revenge. that nearly drove me off the deep end. I had a best friends who ended his life 2 months after my mate was killed... and I wanted to follow that same path. but a few people I come to truely and deeply love saved my hide from that.
I am a novelest. I writer that loves to write long stories. but I love to write fiction and about furs. my weakness is my spelling and if I'm pressed for time my grammer. Few people that i know turn to me for advice... and to some I give advice to. If the wish to heed it is there choice. They all claim it is sound advice. but I am unsure. I tend to keep my standard low when it come to me. I have little to no self respect or faith for myself. I'm honestly shocked at the number of comments I get on some of my poems... and I equally amazed that I got people who love to give me free art. It hard for me to express my shock... when you spend all but 5 months of your life going down hill it does make things hard for yourself. but with this past 5 months and meeting a few very select firends, my new job and my mate. I feel like my life has changed... from being in the pits, to being assaulted to now moved in with my mate. I to this day still fear I am living in a dream.... But once you achive a challanging goal you set forself... you can never go back, It like a drug you get it once and you hooked for life. it can change your life, it can make you feel better about yourself and lift you up from any of the deepest holes and shine light into the darkest shadows.
But I know this one thing... even if it so small... is this:
That I can sit on my bed and relax with my laptop and to look over my arm and see the sleeping form of my mate... even if his face pressed flush to a wall.
And my biggest fear is:
that I will have to repeat the event that scared my soul.
Thank you:
Yuki for being with me so long, even if we parted paths may our bonds of firendship never sever.
Kairi for the kindness you have shown to my shadowed and wilted soul.
SJ for treading a path of thorns for me when I need the help.
Jas... You have lit the fire in my soul, that death put out. You have gave me reason to chase my goals.
To Zane and Acer for support for the short years I know you to.
and to Arrathir, I know he will not read this unless someone from above passes this to him... Your trust and creation showed me I was never completly dead, I was still myself despite hitting rock bottom in my life. I still has my abilty to lead and create my ideas.
And Roshi and my other friends from home... Thank you so much for your support and respect... somedays it was my only reason to live
PS: wow this is big
KawaWerewolf
~dragynebonfyre
I doubt id be able to stand 10 children O.o but thank you anyways
