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"My words don't always rhyme...."
12 years ago
Mah Wolfkin
>>>>amenthor<<<<
My art account
nitetigrezz Gooberz by Linda Goodman = Medicine for the Heart and Soul
My spirit is a million miles away, leaving my heart alone and aching with an emptiness that no other soul could fill. Like a square hole in an existence of nothing but round pegs I wait, choking down my sobs, holding back my tears, because I know my other half is out there and will join with me once more, if I can just wait, and be still. After all, it wasn't lies that were shared in these wise words, "Why should I grieve? My dreams are made of sterner stuff and Spring will be here soon enough..."
Okay, I can't keep ahold of this poetic prosic stance anymore. I'm balling like a baby over here. All night I had been feeling off and reflective. I had been doing well today and went to posting more adopts on my other account, only to find that one of my major sources of joy this December might be illegal. I'm taking proper actions to try to gain permission, but it put me in an even worse slump.
So I started working on my old DA account. I was about to post a journal about why my profile picture, of my munchkin cat, and my avatar picture, of my nitetigrezz, are two different characters, and I was going to put for the title of the journal "My words don't always rhyme...." Those words have stuck with me throughout several years, long after I had first read them. They were part of a poetic disclaimer in a book my brother had given to me for Christmas one year when he was still on his own spiritual quest. I couldn't remember the quote word for word, so I decided to look it up, armed with nothing other than the name of the book.
I managed to not only find the author, but an oooold forum where people had posted some of their favorite quotes from her books. A solid number of those quotes came straight from Gooberz. It's so easy to remember, to feel the rhythm and rhymes that were woven all through that book. And I've been crying ever since, even now sneaking peeks at more quotes between these paragraphs. I don't fully understand it, except that maybe I understand what I once read so long ago that much more, now that I've found my Goober. For every tear of need I shed, there are that many more tears of joy and happiness for knowing his love.
I need to find that book again. I used to pick it up anytime I felt the need, whether it was just the realization that I hadn't read it in a long time or because of an emptiness inside. I would read until I no longer felt the urge or interest, then stick my bookmark in where I stopped reading, and put it down again. Sometimes I would backtrack, especially if I knew what I felt I needed, but more often than not, I would get exactly the words I needed just by picking up where I left off. I never finished the book. Maybe... maybe I wasn't ready to. Maybe it HAD to wait until later on in my life. But now, now that I have found my spirit, now I have someone I can share this with, maybe now it's time that we enjoy it together. Yes, it's based in astrology and we're not big on it beyond amusement purposes, but the book is about so, so much more, like life and love and heartbreak and forgiveness, and loving someone even if their skin turned green and their eyes and mouth switched places.
If you ever get the chance to pick it up, please don't be intimidated by its size. Yes, it's a big book and the first canto or so can be hard to get into, but trust me, it's worth the buy. If I could, I'd by hundreds of copies just to give them out on the streets and send them to all my friends and family. It really is medicine for the soul.
And to my Spirit, my love, my one, this is for you:
last night you whispered
"darling, I knew why you cried before you told me
in the same way that I tremble inside before you hold me"
"oh, yes, it's true!" I whispered back
"I tremble inside before you hold me too
and I always know you will ... just before you do
it's like being one beat ahead of the pulse of the Universe
now that we've learnt that a Little Prince can love one rose --- and mountains can truly fly!"
"... and that druids are real people who can laugh and cry
and we have a whole shining lifetime together
to teach each other why
the miracle of Us ... is not easily defined
because, all we really know..."
"...is that it was planned many eons ago..."
"yes...before you were born, I was yours
and before I was born ... you were mine"
Or, to sum it all up into a nice and neat little package, slightly modified since we're talking present tense:
we love
and the closest we've come to explaining why
is because it is you
and because it is I
I love you my spirit, my heart, my other half. I hope someday we can share Gooberz together.
My spirit is a million miles away, leaving my heart alone and aching with an emptiness that no other soul could fill. Like a square hole in an existence of nothing but round pegs I wait, choking down my sobs, holding back my tears, because I know my other half is out there and will join with me once more, if I can just wait, and be still. After all, it wasn't lies that were shared in these wise words, "Why should I grieve? My dreams are made of sterner stuff and Spring will be here soon enough..."
Okay, I can't keep ahold of this poetic prosic stance anymore. I'm balling like a baby over here. All night I had been feeling off and reflective. I had been doing well today and went to posting more adopts on my other account, only to find that one of my major sources of joy this December might be illegal. I'm taking proper actions to try to gain permission, but it put me in an even worse slump.
So I started working on my old DA account. I was about to post a journal about why my profile picture, of my munchkin cat, and my avatar picture, of my nitetigrezz, are two different characters, and I was going to put for the title of the journal "My words don't always rhyme...." Those words have stuck with me throughout several years, long after I had first read them. They were part of a poetic disclaimer in a book my brother had given to me for Christmas one year when he was still on his own spiritual quest. I couldn't remember the quote word for word, so I decided to look it up, armed with nothing other than the name of the book.
I managed to not only find the author, but an oooold forum where people had posted some of their favorite quotes from her books. A solid number of those quotes came straight from Gooberz. It's so easy to remember, to feel the rhythm and rhymes that were woven all through that book. And I've been crying ever since, even now sneaking peeks at more quotes between these paragraphs. I don't fully understand it, except that maybe I understand what I once read so long ago that much more, now that I've found my Goober. For every tear of need I shed, there are that many more tears of joy and happiness for knowing his love.
I need to find that book again. I used to pick it up anytime I felt the need, whether it was just the realization that I hadn't read it in a long time or because of an emptiness inside. I would read until I no longer felt the urge or interest, then stick my bookmark in where I stopped reading, and put it down again. Sometimes I would backtrack, especially if I knew what I felt I needed, but more often than not, I would get exactly the words I needed just by picking up where I left off. I never finished the book. Maybe... maybe I wasn't ready to. Maybe it HAD to wait until later on in my life. But now, now that I have found my spirit, now I have someone I can share this with, maybe now it's time that we enjoy it together. Yes, it's based in astrology and we're not big on it beyond amusement purposes, but the book is about so, so much more, like life and love and heartbreak and forgiveness, and loving someone even if their skin turned green and their eyes and mouth switched places.
If you ever get the chance to pick it up, please don't be intimidated by its size. Yes, it's a big book and the first canto or so can be hard to get into, but trust me, it's worth the buy. If I could, I'd by hundreds of copies just to give them out on the streets and send them to all my friends and family. It really is medicine for the soul.
And to my Spirit, my love, my one, this is for you:
last night you whispered
"darling, I knew why you cried before you told me
in the same way that I tremble inside before you hold me"
"oh, yes, it's true!" I whispered back
"I tremble inside before you hold me too
and I always know you will ... just before you do
it's like being one beat ahead of the pulse of the Universe
now that we've learnt that a Little Prince can love one rose --- and mountains can truly fly!"
"... and that druids are real people who can laugh and cry
and we have a whole shining lifetime together
to teach each other why
the miracle of Us ... is not easily defined
because, all we really know..."
"...is that it was planned many eons ago..."
"yes...before you were born, I was yours
and before I was born ... you were mine"
Or, to sum it all up into a nice and neat little package, slightly modified since we're talking present tense:
we love
and the closest we've come to explaining why
is because it is you
and because it is I
I love you my spirit, my heart, my other half. I hope someday we can share Gooberz together.
