I've been here before.
I will be here again.


It is a bad habit of mine to look up from my dreams, hopes, wishes, fantasys, projects, and lessions. and realize all over again the self doubting, self loathing, self serving monster i am capbable of being.

and every time it dowses my fire.

the food is ash, the life is lost, joy is beyond me.

my ladys just know i am depressed,

I am better now than I was years ago. these feelings would overwelm me for weeks months in the past. i know it will only last a few days at most this time. maybe even only a few hours.

i know its my desicion to let these feelings hurt me.
i know its my weaknees that allows this.

sometimes its cleansing to just let it happen for a while.

regardless there is always tea, and art.