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I'll Bury The Hatchet In Your Back
11 years ago
Every day eventually fades to night,
The horizon is a casket for the sunlight,
Stars falling from their home in the sky
even the moon wanes & disappears from sight,
the same is said for all the years
and years and years
I've shadowed my life with all my fears.
Feels like I'm running out of time,
to try and live a happy life.
Because most of the time I've spent,
Is in my mind with the demons that wont
pay rent.
Walk with my head in the clouds,
when my heart is in the grave.
Disguise my anger with the obscurity of sleep,
Put off the world, and shoot up that lie
that I don't care.
Fall asleep and try to escape reality with a pleasant dream,
Only to be rudely awaken by reoccurring nightmares.
I'd be lying if I didn't say it was scaring me,
half massed eyes, In a haze,
Is my act convincing? How couldn't it be?
With this unfailing veil of apathy.
Hide away until everything's alright.
Search for someplace warm in the biting cold
of tonight.
Stay up late with the ghosts of all the friendships
I've destroyed.
It seems there are too many to count,
rough estimate is somewhere in the thousands,
seems I'm approaching genocide.
Because every time I try and bury the hatchet,
I always end up burying it your back.
how can I resurrect all the friends I've killed?
digging up all the graves I've filled.
I'll tear my own soul apart,
to create a lie wrapped up in compelling
arguments, and convincing story,
So I can hide from your sight, go invisible
and lose you.
Rehearse it every day until I believe it
more than you do.
I'll tear my own soul to shreds, to bullshit
my cannibalizing thoughts away.
Lies fall from my lips like hand grenades.
Perpetually perpetuating the story I so cleverly crafted,
tell myself I'm fine, because none of the fatal
past ever happened.
But the scars will always tell the truth,
skin doesn't lie when it starts turning
bloody black and bruised.
How many evenings will I spend alone?
Dropping seconds in a glass,
pretending time doesn't pass.
pretending that maybe I'm gonna last
through the cold dark lonely nights,
and all my self-induced plights.
We're all the things I felt,
just the effect of a decrepit clarity?
Watch all my lies unravel and I'm tried guilty.
Because every time I've buried the hatchet,
I buried it in your back.
Eyes opened to all the pain I've inflicted,
Mind opens up a cataract, of all the things
I buried in the past, I don't think I'm gonna last.
Drop ALL the wubzzz!