i actually enjoyed the holidays!

sure i did have problems. i did cry, and feel sad.. but i also felt a big relief about it.. like it was ok to feel so.

i had 2 flashbacks that hurt emotionally, and one did physically too.. but in all i think it was my best holidays ever since i was little! i cant be completely sure because i dont know what happened during most of my childhood, but it is coming back, here and there.

so yah. i came out of it without cuts, without self abuse, and actually the ability to be proud of myself. to say "i made it" is somehow not enough.. but i dont know what else to say...

I made it!