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A year in hindsight
12 years ago
2013 is almost done and I am relieved about that. This year has had too much in it. Some bad, most of it good, quite a lot I am still ambivalent about. However I feel about it though, I have to admit that this is one of the years I have grown the most as a person.
In July I had a very difficult breakup and it has taken me a long time to accept that a friendship of so many years could end so abruptly, that someone could just kick you out of their life like that, with not a second thought, that there were things that someone else felt that were really never communicated to me, even after our break up. I have made peace with the fact that I tired to do the best I could under the circumstances and with the information I was given. I will not hate or begrudge myself for the sake of others. I refuse to feel bad over what I did not do because I did not know. Realizing this has helped me a lot in the ever-continuing journey of finding a bit about myself.
moonstar27 and 
savaraskye helped me through these hard times and showed me how important it is to always keep your faith in the wonder of others. Shortly after I met 
zetasyanthis 
subdivisions and 
brevity who have become a source of joy and wonder, who have helped me keep reassured in my abilities to be able to love and smile beyond any trauma and any hardship I have faced. Being able to be a primary caretaker to myself and not someone else has helped me move forward in ways I honestly think I could not have before. In September I started working for the state doing something I love in a place where I can thrive. After many jobs, I finally have a career. In November I was mugged in my apartment complex. It helped me put into perspective that as far as I have come, I am still not far removed from that vulnerable child that lived in Puerto Rico. That is...strangely comforting? In December I adopted Topeka, an amazing tortie ragdoll that has made my life much richer and has helped me hone in on some interesting research questions just by sharing our lived experiences. Nicole, my dear girlfriend has been through thick and thin with me and recently acknowledged being a furry. I am very glad to have her join the fandom. My sister will be moving to Tucson in July and it will be amazing to have her here.
2013 was certainly eventful. And for everything, including the seemingly bad things, I am thankful. Here is hoping I can move forward into 2014 with all the wonderful things I learned.
In July I had a very difficult breakup and it has taken me a long time to accept that a friendship of so many years could end so abruptly, that someone could just kick you out of their life like that, with not a second thought, that there were things that someone else felt that were really never communicated to me, even after our break up. I have made peace with the fact that I tired to do the best I could under the circumstances and with the information I was given. I will not hate or begrudge myself for the sake of others. I refuse to feel bad over what I did not do because I did not know. Realizing this has helped me a lot in the ever-continuing journey of finding a bit about myself.
moonstar27 and 
savaraskye helped me through these hard times and showed me how important it is to always keep your faith in the wonder of others. Shortly after I met 
zetasyanthis 
subdivisions and 
brevity who have become a source of joy and wonder, who have helped me keep reassured in my abilities to be able to love and smile beyond any trauma and any hardship I have faced. Being able to be a primary caretaker to myself and not someone else has helped me move forward in ways I honestly think I could not have before. In September I started working for the state doing something I love in a place where I can thrive. After many jobs, I finally have a career. In November I was mugged in my apartment complex. It helped me put into perspective that as far as I have come, I am still not far removed from that vulnerable child that lived in Puerto Rico. That is...strangely comforting? In December I adopted Topeka, an amazing tortie ragdoll that has made my life much richer and has helped me hone in on some interesting research questions just by sharing our lived experiences. Nicole, my dear girlfriend has been through thick and thin with me and recently acknowledged being a furry. I am very glad to have her join the fandom. My sister will be moving to Tucson in July and it will be amazing to have her here. 2013 was certainly eventful. And for everything, including the seemingly bad things, I am thankful. Here is hoping I can move forward into 2014 with all the wonderful things I learned.
We were botyh really glad to meet you, too, Zanz! We finally feel like we have people we can trust nearby!! <33
Questioning yourself and your actions is not a bad thing, remember that, but you also have to live for you, too. Learn from what happened, but don't let it consume you, just strengthen you. *hugs!* Even if eventually we end up apart, I hope that you will always have people around that will offer you a hand up when you've been knocked down.
And just so you know, I'm incredibly thankful for meeting you too. You taught me a lot, and helped me work on some of my mental barriers. Some of that worked out a bit oddly in the end, but I'm still glad for it, and glad to call you friend. :)
Here's to 2014 being a better year. :)