I remember almost over two years ago, I was in a very unstable mental place. It was effecting a lot of the aspects of my life in more ways than I can count. For some I can't ever give detail of this, nor would I dare speak a word out of fear of it returning to bite me in the ass. I still at times, try to understand the basic meaning of my emotions when I find myself dealing with unknowns. Someone would say I filter or shut off, and hide myself away unless I'm a few sheets to the wind drunk, or just had enough of something or trust someone. I do long to come out of my so call shell, and enjoy life and have fun but...apart of me still sees there is price to pay for anything and everything you do in the long run.

Everyone has heard, what one does effects others. An time and time again I find myself doing what I feel will best either (a) protect them for embracement of dealing with me, (b) casting a form of judgment which depends on the person. Some I don't care if they do, others that care close to me, and ones I love and care for I keep in mind on all my actions. One would think that after 32 years I wouldn't be still questioning everything little thing I do, seeking some meaning by what I do, or how it effects others. Why should I care, when the vast millions of most others could give two shits to the wind? Those a new year spawns before me, and I do not wish to take a step back, I want to move forward. Do better than before and feel pride in what I do not, guilt for anything.

Oh I wrote a book, lol. But I do find expressing my limited mind and limited emotional leak does help deal with a lot of personal issues. So what I didn't get to complete my art completion goal. I'm sure most of many on here have done pretty much the same, but there is a few that will say 'no' in a show of 'I am all powerful' time fursons. Wow I need to work on not be so bitter lol, but what is done, is done. Now time for some much needed sleep, tired dragons are not easy ones to deal with or tangle with. Even our own minds tend to be primal when lack of sleep takes over. With best regards, I remain...


--Klynolder--