So, it's late... okay, it's nighttime. Mates went to bed and I'm looking out the back window. I see a shadow at the pool. So, I'm doing my usual nighttime routine of doodling in my sketchbook and such when the shadow jumps into the pool. So I get up to investigate. I open the back door, turn on the lights and scare the hell out of the poor raccoon who was just taking a quick dip. He/she goes running off over the fence. We've had critters fall in by accident before. So, I wanted to make sure whatever was in could get out.

That in and of itself wasn't the problem. The problem was as I was staring at raccoon butt hightailing it over our fence, something swoops out of the air, dives down right in front of me, skims the pool's surface and pulls up right in front of me, and I MEAN RIGHT in front of me! The crazy kamikaze bat nearly scrapes off my nose as it pulls up and narrowly misses slamming into my FACE!!!

And I mean what the hell?! I know the bats in this area are not that BIG, but maybe it was proximity, or not but the blasted thing looking like I was buzzed by an EAGLE! Why is it when you're startled... things always appear bigger than they are supposed to be? And why in all the bloody places on the PLANET this bat could have flown it picked the one spot DIRECTLY in front of my FACE?!?!

And then all was quiet. Raccoon was gone. Bat was gone and the only noise to be heard was me... standing next to our pool... making noises that would have made me look like an escapee from an insane asylum...

THANKS UNIVERSE!

Nice to know your still providing me with choice material for my SHOWS!!! Glad to know my budding career as a storyteller is not going to lack for fresh and original anecdotes to ADD!

It's because I was born on Friday the 13th, isn't it?