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Consoling on being childfree.
12 years ago
General
I spent a good part of the other day consoling a young lady who was positive she didn't want children. Apparently, her folks and surrounding family members think she's Satan incarnate, and needs serious counseling. Basically, the close family is telling her she will be a useless human being if she doesn't procreate. The others think she's young and stupid and will eventually change her mind. Yes, she's 21, but that doesn't always mean it's a flighty decision.
I know everyone says "you'll change" about anything you decide on when your young. Because...you're young. And stupid. And you make bad decisions based on impulse, hormones, and whatever cute piece of ass you want to impress. But a serious decision like not wanting kids usually warrants an eye-roll from most people, especially if you are young. Hell, you get eye-rolls regardless of age nowadays.
As an avid supporter of this decision, it breaks my heart when a life choice like this gets put down by people who are supposed to support you. It absolutely kills me when people think you are a lesser human because you don't want kids, like you just...don't matter unless you become a parent. Your hopes and dreams are bullshit unless you reproduce, apparently. I have been telling my family since I was 16 years old that I never want to get pregnant. It scares me to the point of nightmares, and makes me queasy just thinking about it. Now I'm 29, and most accept it. Every now and then, I do get the "HOW SELFISH OF YOU Y U NO KIDS YOU WOULD MAKE A GREAT MOTHER HOW WILL YOU EVER LIVE WITH YOURSELF" questions from others, but overall, it's kind of nice to be able to say "From age 16, I didn't want kids. Still don't. Not so much of a phase NOW, is it? Now stop bugging me."
Overall: you want kids, have 'em. You don't want kids, don't have 'em. Just don't berate people for their choices, whether they match yours or not.
--ALL ABOARD THE OUTCAST TRAIN; CHOO CHOO, MOTHERFUCKER--
I know everyone says "you'll change" about anything you decide on when your young. Because...you're young. And stupid. And you make bad decisions based on impulse, hormones, and whatever cute piece of ass you want to impress. But a serious decision like not wanting kids usually warrants an eye-roll from most people, especially if you are young. Hell, you get eye-rolls regardless of age nowadays.
As an avid supporter of this decision, it breaks my heart when a life choice like this gets put down by people who are supposed to support you. It absolutely kills me when people think you are a lesser human because you don't want kids, like you just...don't matter unless you become a parent. Your hopes and dreams are bullshit unless you reproduce, apparently. I have been telling my family since I was 16 years old that I never want to get pregnant. It scares me to the point of nightmares, and makes me queasy just thinking about it. Now I'm 29, and most accept it. Every now and then, I do get the "HOW SELFISH OF YOU Y U NO KIDS YOU WOULD MAKE A GREAT MOTHER HOW WILL YOU EVER LIVE WITH YOURSELF" questions from others, but overall, it's kind of nice to be able to say "From age 16, I didn't want kids. Still don't. Not so much of a phase NOW, is it? Now stop bugging me."
Overall: you want kids, have 'em. You don't want kids, don't have 'em. Just don't berate people for their choices, whether they match yours or not.
--ALL ABOARD THE OUTCAST TRAIN; CHOO CHOO, MOTHERFUCKER--
Better to know you don't want something then to have it and not cherish and value it like it should be.
My uncles would constantly ask why I have gotten a wife and settled down yet, and had any kids. the ironic thing was, once of their kids who DID have kids early is now living at home with them trying to raise the child.
Honestly, the decision rests upon the ones in the relationship, no one else. I'm sorry to hear your friend is having such a hard time with this. I keep liking to think we live in 2014, and it isn't 1955 anymore.
It absolutely kills me that there are so many people would willingly have children with no way to take care of them.
I just wish that more people would lighten up about it, and realize that there can be life without children. I am sick to death of being seen as a waste of space simply because I am never getting pregnant.
As for me, I am rarely thinking of children. My two sisters are finding boyfriends, trying to get married, etc. The most I see is possibly being an uncle some day since my sisters will probably have offspring. I honestly dont care either way. I think there are more pressing matters in the world than trying to increase the population lol.
...I like working with kids, especially teenagers. I just don't need to spunt one out and raise it to that point. At least in my line of work, I have "I have 150 kids five days a week, I don't need my own" as an acceptable excuse :I
I'm not very good with kids, and I am especially not good with babies. When I'm around them, I usually end up diverting to comments like "Soo...how 'bout them White Sox..."
I unfortunately tend to do something cute instead like let it steal my glasses to get surrounded by AWWWWs >:C
I have had to make the weirdest excuses to get out of holding babies. My favorite was "I have the Bavarian flu that's going around."