A HUMAN HAS INFILTRATED FURAFFINITY!
I REPEAT A HUMAN HAS INFILTRATED FURAFFINITY!

CODE RED THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

I REPEAT CODE RED THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

HUMAN IS DESCRIBE AS A WHITE HISPANIC WITH HAZEL EYES AND HAS A MUSTACHE GOATEE COMBO.
HUMEAN CAN BE IDENTIFIED BY THE INDY FEDORA HE CONSTANTLY WEARS AND BY HIS DARK GLASSES.

CODE RED CODE RED

THREAT LEVEL 5.

HUMAN IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS.
HUMAN WILL PLACE CATS ON YOUR HEAD. DON'T LET HUMAN PLACE CAT ON YOUR OR YOU WILL BE DEEMED INFECTED AND WILL BE QUARANTINED.

HUMAN IS WANTED FOR THESE CRIMINAL ACTS:
-9 ACCOUNTS OF EATING THE LAST COOKIE
-3 ACCOUNTS OF BAD DANCING
-7 ACCOUNTS OF ASKING RANDOM NONSENSICAL QUESTIONS
-12 ACCOUNTS OF TOUCHING THINGS THAT HE SHOULDN'T
-30 ACCOUNTS OF LISTENING TO OLD FASHION MUSIC
-1,350,657,231,767,992,001 ACCOUNTS OF BAD PUNS


DO NOT ATTEMPT CAPTURE. HUMAN IS DEEMED TOO HAZARDOUS AND DANGEROUS TO BE CAPTURED BY NORMAL MEANS.

HUMAN MUST BE KILLED ON SITE!

RETAIN EXTREME CAUTION WHEN ENCOUNTERING HUMAN.

CODE RED CODE RED THIS NOT A DRILL






Huh, I wonder what's all that hubbub is about.