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Have you ever... (Personal Ramblings)
12 years ago
WARNING!!! What your about to read is just my own personal rambling and vents right now... If you don't wanna hear it. Don't read it. I don't care if people read this or not... I just need to get this out there somewhere since I can't put pencil to paper right now to vent it... Please be kind to me if you do read this. I'm not looking for help, and i'm not looking for sympathy... I love you guys and appreciate what you guys do for me... But if you act like a dick about this I won't even answer you. Probably, if I really don't like what you said, I'll just hide it... Cause I don't need that right now...
So.. Yeah... Thank you if you do read. Thank you if you comment and try to help. And if you don't read, thank you anyway, for even caring enough to look~
Have you ever had a horrible feeling that something is gonna go horribly wrong?
You know like you're thinking about something and then without you realizing its just... I don't know how to explain.
It all just ends up seeming like its going to go horribly and that its gonna be just.. Bad all the way around?
I don't know... I'm probably just rambling and being weird but.. I don't know.. I've been thinking a lot lately about my situation...
All of the family drama.. the school stress from being in a new semester with a lot more work going on... Worrying about how things are going to work with me moving out..
I don't know.. Its just all getting to me and I don't know what to feel right now...
Every time I think about something I wanna burst into tears because I'm so scared of everything going wrong because that's usually how it goes...
I get moments of time where things are amazing, I'm feeling better, I'm healing, and I feel like everything is just going right for once..
Then something snaps and comes down like a house of cards...
I know. I'm being dramatic... and I'm being stupid... and probably majorly over reacting... But I can't help it...
I tried to explain what I'm feeling to my mate, but I don't want to make him worry because I'm being stupid and hitting the panic button for nothing... So I just...
*sighs* I don't know...
I have my drawing class in the morning... so hopefully having four hours to detox from everything for a while will help, but who knows...
Thanks again for looking~ I love and appreciate all your love and support and kindness. I love you guys.
Your Always,
Mika <3
So.. Yeah... Thank you if you do read. Thank you if you comment and try to help. And if you don't read, thank you anyway, for even caring enough to look~
Have you ever had a horrible feeling that something is gonna go horribly wrong?
You know like you're thinking about something and then without you realizing its just... I don't know how to explain.
It all just ends up seeming like its going to go horribly and that its gonna be just.. Bad all the way around?
I don't know... I'm probably just rambling and being weird but.. I don't know.. I've been thinking a lot lately about my situation...
All of the family drama.. the school stress from being in a new semester with a lot more work going on... Worrying about how things are going to work with me moving out..
I don't know.. Its just all getting to me and I don't know what to feel right now...
Every time I think about something I wanna burst into tears because I'm so scared of everything going wrong because that's usually how it goes...
I get moments of time where things are amazing, I'm feeling better, I'm healing, and I feel like everything is just going right for once..
Then something snaps and comes down like a house of cards...
I know. I'm being dramatic... and I'm being stupid... and probably majorly over reacting... But I can't help it...
I tried to explain what I'm feeling to my mate, but I don't want to make him worry because I'm being stupid and hitting the panic button for nothing... So I just...
*sighs* I don't know...
I have my drawing class in the morning... so hopefully having four hours to detox from everything for a while will help, but who knows...
Thanks again for looking~ I love and appreciate all your love and support and kindness. I love you guys.
Your Always,
Mika <3
ConfusedKitty
~confusedkitty
Your not over reacting, it's normal to feel worried. Just make sure you tell others (Like friends, family, mate) about how you feel :3
mika_sora
~mikasora
OP
Ok that honestly makes me feel a little better. Cause I always feel like i'm over reacting which is why don't tell people really what i'm feeling. =/ So I might try and talk to people about what I'm feeling more often. Its really hard for me sometimes to do that =(
keirajo
~keirajo
I know exactly how you feel. I hope your feelings won't be true and it will be better than you expect!
mika_sora
~mikasora
OP
Yay~ I'm not alone <3 And I really hope so too~ But I'm not gonna know for a while because a lot of the things I'm thinking about are like still months away =( So hopefully i'll be able to get myself to stop worry so much by then >_<
keirajo
~keirajo
I know. Like when I was told about getting the semi-supervisor job, but it wasn't totally official. And now all these things I have to do...and worrying how it will affect my annual performance evaluation...it's far off, but I always worry when things change, especially when I am so used to things before.
mika_sora
~mikasora
OP
I'm really glad its not just me. Cause my mate doesn't seem to do that at all and I do that almost constantly so he just tries to tell me to relax and i'm like "no ;-; all of the worrying >_<" XD Hopefully the changes i'm worried about will change for the better though, cause i really don't want more things to go wrong. I've dealt with that enough.. =/
keirajo
~keirajo
I hope thing get better for you soon!
mika_sora
~mikasora
OP
thanks, I hope so to~ <3 And same for you :3 Lets both try not to stress too much~ XD
keirajo
~keirajo
Yes, let's!
