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Ugh ever feel like this quote fits you to?
11 years ago
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone." -RW
Passed few months I have come to understand that easily 90% of the people I have met or communicate with on skype or online in general would never speak to me unless I did all the work to get in touch with them every time. I don't understand at times why I go out of my way for people. Try to make them smile and cheer them up when I know they would never do the same for me. Then ill go and kick my self after saying why did I just waste all that time. I know at the end of the day I do it cause making people happy makes me happy but after its all said and done I realize how little I am to them at the end of the day.
My loyalty and wanting to be a good friend to people seems to get me miss treated quite a bit. Some times intentionally other times not. I know its my own fault for putting my self in those situations but its hard for me to change how I am. I just like to be kind and make people smile. So I am sort of stuck in a slump as to what to do about it. Feel like I have a small very small handful of people I can consider true friends. People that no matter how long apart I can hang out with and it would be like we never skipped a day. And I know its not about having a huge amount of friends that's not something I want.
I have always said quality over quantity. But right now I guess I feel like I have been losing or already lost the few people I care for and thought felt the same. Bleh sorry for the early morning sad journal thing. Just confused I guess. Some times I wish I was not as nice as I try to be. I am not looking for a pat on the back in return or anything but have just had people say things to me like there always going to be there and such. But in reality they are only my friend when they want to be my friend. Ugh I don't know.
Part of me wants to say fuck it and clear out a majority of my list. Tired of doing 100% of the work to keep a friendship going. I know I am not 100% innocent my self there have been long periods where I don't speak at times but I always try to do my best. Actions speak louder then words to me. Saying something is one thing. Doing it and showing it is what I guess id like.
Passed few months I have come to understand that easily 90% of the people I have met or communicate with on skype or online in general would never speak to me unless I did all the work to get in touch with them every time. I don't understand at times why I go out of my way for people. Try to make them smile and cheer them up when I know they would never do the same for me. Then ill go and kick my self after saying why did I just waste all that time. I know at the end of the day I do it cause making people happy makes me happy but after its all said and done I realize how little I am to them at the end of the day.
My loyalty and wanting to be a good friend to people seems to get me miss treated quite a bit. Some times intentionally other times not. I know its my own fault for putting my self in those situations but its hard for me to change how I am. I just like to be kind and make people smile. So I am sort of stuck in a slump as to what to do about it. Feel like I have a small very small handful of people I can consider true friends. People that no matter how long apart I can hang out with and it would be like we never skipped a day. And I know its not about having a huge amount of friends that's not something I want.
I have always said quality over quantity. But right now I guess I feel like I have been losing or already lost the few people I care for and thought felt the same. Bleh sorry for the early morning sad journal thing. Just confused I guess. Some times I wish I was not as nice as I try to be. I am not looking for a pat on the back in return or anything but have just had people say things to me like there always going to be there and such. But in reality they are only my friend when they want to be my friend. Ugh I don't know.
Part of me wants to say fuck it and clear out a majority of my list. Tired of doing 100% of the work to keep a friendship going. I know I am not 100% innocent my self there have been long periods where I don't speak at times but I always try to do my best. Actions speak louder then words to me. Saying something is one thing. Doing it and showing it is what I guess id like.
-huggles-
cherish the ones closest to you and never let them go people come and go but the ones who stick by your side through thick and thin are the ones you need to realize are the only ones you need in life its nice to have others to chat to, but dont count on every passer by to lend you a hand so to speak. keep your heart and mind open always to let the new come in but make sure you remember the old friends <3
Yea that's very true. I guess for me right now I am trying so very hard to keep hanging onto my old friends cause they are literally like my rock but in recent times it seems hard to get a hold of most any one. And its not like I am coming to them to ask for anything. I literally just want to hang out and talk or game or what ever. Its nice to just have some company and chill with your good friends.
but on another note friends should never ask for more then friend ship we all reach out to our friends first for help and to help its mutualand always should be available to one another and tho sometimes things seem touch and go there always could be a silver lining in the end just have to talk it out and sort things diligently but not forcefully who knows could always just be a missunderstanding too ive had my fair share of those but i worked with the person and most of the time all was forgivin and forgotten n3n but nini i hope to talk to ya again soon!
I know people like that aswell.. Wont bother talking with you or ask to hangout unless there's anything they want, like a favor or something. They suck..
I've been in exactly the same sitiuation, and I just completly stopped talking to em, I'm not wasting my energy into trying to keep communicating with them when they wont bother communicating with me back. Its really tough though..I still miss them, I miss them a lot and I do want to speak with them but I just wont.. Then they will have to contact me first..
I just always feel like I'm bothering people. I mean, why would anyone want to talk to me, ya know? :/
And so even people I really like and would love nothing more than to to talk to I don't and I'm sure some of them end up thinking I don't care when it's not the case at all.
But yea you are really sweet man *hugs*
I just try to warn people that I might not make first contact but it's not cos I don't wanna chat.
But I try to keep my contacts small, I'd rather have 10 great friends than 100 I barely talk to.
Like Facebook, oh we met once in the corridor, BESTIES! Piss off ¬_¬
Name: Lupeyroo (it might come up with my old ones so choose the one which is just lupeyroo)
I do consider you to be the top grade of my friends which is why I was fairly upset last night, I don't really ask people to do stuff with me in advance cause most of the time they forget or don't show. This has been a constant issue ever since I was like in the 3rd grade.. Thus why I don't really expect my friends to be there, but that still doesn't help the fact that when they don't show I can't help but to think less of them. So really I should just stop telling people of plans ahead of time and if their around, their around.. if they are not and miss out on an opportunity to do stuff with me.. I guess that's whatever then.
I hope I didn't ruin your night too badly, I ended up passing out around 4 AM cause didn't want to get off the bed. x3 thankfully didn't wake up hungover. I still care a lot about you pup, ever if it doesn't seem like it, I'm like sandpaper as you know, rough outside with a smooth interior.