I hate college. It was the worst decision of my life to even think about going there! I have no talent and affinity to math what so ever, I HATE, I fucking... there is no word to how much I hate electronics, and the people there are just a bunch of fucking jerks! The level of the fucking math exam is freaking higher than what my math teacher with 40+ years of goddamn experience could solve in the given time limit!!! And now, I decided not to give it up, and promised to myself and the family to practice, and what do I get?!?!?! I'm constantly bombarded by bullshit that I'm not doing enough! What the freaking fucking goddamn mouthfucked heavens did they honestly expect??!!?? That I'll wake up at 8 AM start doing math, then Go to Sleep at 8 PM?? Gosh I hate my father. Stupid fucking jerk!

And this situation is amongst the better ones, because now I at least have real feelings! Real anger, real sorrow. I can't wait until BPD kicks in again, and I'll be just and empty shell full with misery and echoes!! -.-

I apologise from all my followers for letting them down. I can't write like this... I wish I could continue slaves' hell, or if i could wrap up Shena's story... But i just can't... I'm so sorry...