Alright guys, you got me. I'll open up for story commissions.
Here's how it'll work...

$5/1000 word minimum
So that's $5 guaranteed from you for 1k words guaranteed from me.

From then on, I'll write for however long I think the story should be, prorating at a $3/1k ratio.

So a 3k story would cost you ($5 minimum) + ($3 * 2k extra words) = $11 dollars
For reference, my story, The Party (clocking in at 5,382 words) would cost around $18.15

Note me with your ideas and such, and we'll strike up a deal!