A couple weeks ago I gave my puppy away to a really nice family. Upon arriving at the house the kids were in the backyard and saw Kaiser and I step out of my Expedition. I think at that point I knew I made the right choice. See I had been noticing my puppy was getting more and more anxious living in our apartment and with us not moving out for a couple moments I decided he needed to find a better place to live. When we got into the house the owner introduced me to his Boxer and his Chihuahua. Surprise to me that the Chihuahua (which I always call large rats cuz I loathe them) was the alpha of the house and put Kaiser in his place right away. I let Kaiser run around with the Boxer and I knew he was home. I talked to the man a few minutes, basic follow up questions and what not, and we walked out so I could give him the last of his things. He asked if I wanted to say goodbye and I really did but I said no. I couldn't bare to look at him again, I knew I would break down. I drove off and had to pull over, I cried so much that day, I still feel sad. I still feel alone without him here. He was like my child, I had raised him from 6 weeks old...

I put this out there in the world now because I needed to say it, or write it out. I can't hold it in myself any longer or I'll burst. My mate has been very supportive, but he doesn't see how much it affects me because I don't want him to see me weak and vulnerable. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because of losing my best friend... I just have to keep telling myself he's in a better place, with kids who he can play with and other dogs to teach him.

I tell everyone I'm fine, because I don't want to talk about it. I don't because I don't want to seem weak, but I am....

"Where life goes, so too, should you"