One day i woke up and you weren't there, I looked around frantically and then i realized life's not fair. I fucked up my future with you,Now I'm so lost I don't know what to do.I pull my knees to my chest as I let my head fall onto them and I start to cry.My chest hurts cause I realize you will never ever again want to be mine.May be if I didn't bitch and nag you about what you do and how we lived,You might have stayed with me and showed me how much love you had to give . But NO! I drove you away,Into the arms of another and I hurt when I saw how much you two loved each other.I tried to move on and cover my emotions but you saw right through me and the one you were with exploited them and rubbed it in my face.Making me feel so worthless.I distanced myself from you.Hoping I would get over it and it worked slightly. Just as I thought I moved on I realized i started listening to the music you always liked. One day with some friends we saw you at the park and we met up.Felling confident that I could just see you as a friend stood well and my walls sturdy.We all went to your house where I used to stay and all of the nostalgia of our old relationship hit me and broke my walls..I did the best I could to keep up my mask but before i left you made me smile like I did way back when As you hugged me I shattered like a crystal on a concrete floor. On my way home I did the best to hold my tears back,When I went I crawled into bed they streamed down my face and started soaking my pillows.. They continued without any sigh of letting up. So I curled into my ball and cried more as I lay there picking up my shattered self and make mask after mask to hide my true self. All I want is to rewind time so I can fix what I broke.But sadly the world dose not work that way and I don't want to remove you from my life and I hope between us there is no strife.I hope one day to get past this so we can become friends.. But until then I will be here making my masks until I find the one who will love me so I don't have to.......

Please,Forgive Me....

an old poem that i wrote about an ex..