This is all just about my own family drama and stress so please feel free to ignore. I just need to get it out is all.

So I guess a here is a quick family update. My brother is apparently ditching out on my mother 2 days before their move (he set up the move truck help etc. with his friends as well) He is leaving to go to Ottawa to talk to the govt or fight the system or whatever ... with no money. So he is planning to walk the 450+ km there and he can be extremely stubborn. I pointed out the next week forecast is -10 to -20 each day for at least the next week. He said he didn't care and hes doing it. awesome. I asked if he's doing this after the move this friday to which he said no. right now. awesome. So I hung up on him. I love my brother I do but I can't deal with that level of self righteousness at the cost of my mothers well being. He's going to have to take care of himself this time. *sniffs* I can't save everyone all the time I guess. He's 26 and potentially unstable (possibly schizophrenic) but I have to have faith he can figure his shit out for at least the next week.

So now I wait trying to get a hold of my mother since I woke up to half a dozen of her panicked text and stuff. She moves on Friday to a place she cant afford alone I'm sure. With no helpers or truck I believe now since my bro arranged that with his friends. I work 36h between Fri-sun during the nights so I'm sadly out. Catch 22 is I can't even just miss the time because I'm fairly certain that I'm the one this will affect financially since there's no one else to help them out. But the move HAS to happen, mom has to be out of her current place and has already signed papers for new place. How this happens I've no fucking clue. Now lets not forget that during this my younger potentially mentally unstable brother will be walking the 450km to Ottawa in below zero weather with no money. I have no answers. I'm unsure what to do. Most likely I'll end up throwing away thousands of dollars over the next while keeping her afloat. I only say throwing away because I know she'll never really be able to pay me back. I know her finances and it would be a miracle if she managed to lets say. But it's my family and I am all they have so I do what I have to do as I've always done.

**edit** Managed to get a hold oh Ma and thankfully shes handling it all pretty good. We had a long conversation about everything. We both agree he's most likely not going to attempt the walk and that the best thing we can really do is continue with the move plan cause he will most likely be back soon and will need a home regardless of where he stands mentally. Were gunna go on faith that the move will happen over the weekend as it is set up and failing that I have Mon-tue off and I'll do a last min scramble then If that is what needs to be done *nods* Best I can come up with. If my bro comes back as we expect my mom just ask for me to visit more and help keep an eye on him n stuff to which I said of course. I'm still just realizing and trying to come to terms with the fact that if my brother is schizophrenic which we are pretty sure to some degree that this may be my life. This is going to be something I have to deal with till the end. My immediate family is just my mother who's getting up there and has had a rough life, me and my younger brother. She will do what she can for as long as she can but then it will be just us. I dunno if I'm strong enough. I worry I'm not. I have fleeting fantasies of moving across country but honestly how could I? I would feel like I was abandoning them. If this is the life I have so be it. Bring it on