📼 𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐒𝐅𝐎𝐗 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐎𝐒 📼


Don't look for love and friendship from fandoms. The fandom isn't a person, it's not a thing, it can't give you things like that. Just because people are furry doesn't mean they're obligated to love you, and just because people are furry doesn't mean they represent the fandom as a whole. Furry is just a part of who someone is.

If the people you're friends with are mistreating you, maybe you need to say hey to a different class of person, or maybe work on your self-esteem. I know for a fact that a lot of the reason I ended up with so many shitty people as friends was because I thought it was what I deserved. I didn't care who I was friends with, as long as they gave me attention, I loved them.

That just leads to heartache.

There is no 'furry dream'. It's just a bunch of people who like cartoons. Stop elevating it to be something its not, and start elevating YOU to be something you ARE. You are a kind, compassionate, caring person who deserves to love you for you. Cherish the good people you meet, appreciate them for what they are-whether they're furry or not-and stop looking for the fandom to provide you with what you should be providing yourself with:Dignity, self-respect, and validation.

It's sort of like the old 4-chan/anon saying 'we're nobody's army'. I think there's a certain amount of collaboration you can do in the name of helping people, sure. Cancer research, helping raise money for the homeless-stuff like that. I think there's a huge difference between gathering a group of people who happen to be furry to raise money for a cause, and implying that we all need to get behind certain causes because those causes are 'furry' causes, despite the fact that everyone has a different idea of what constitutes a 'furry cause' and what doesn't.

Something else to keep in mind-you can hope for the best, as far as the human species goes, just never forget that most people suck. Give yourself chances by taking chances on others, just learn to reign in expectations. You're probably feeling let down because you give people in general too much credit.

People are -going- to hurt you. The key is to find those who are worth the pain. The number one person you should be OK dealing with pain from is you. You seem like a decent enough person, cut yourself some slack, learn to forgive yourself, and then start looking at the few good people around you who are truly worth it, and appreciate them.

Personally, I'd rather have a small number of true, close friends-some furry and most non furry-who appreciate me and are willing to put up with me hurting them now and then, than have a huge bunch of furries 'say' they 'like' me, when most of them are hypocrites, and some of them are psychic vampires.

Just cus someone is a furry doesn't mean they're not human, and that brings me around to the first sentence in this post.

Zidders speaks the truth.

In the end, all you have is yourself.

aww hemms! i'd hug, snuggle, joke, and care for you!

Yeah, the fandom is changing, some things are for the better and some for the worse... Furries seem less tolerant of grossly inappropriate behavior, poor hygiene, creepiness, etc., than they were 5 years ago, and that's a good thing. It seems more like the focus is socialization rather than the appreciation of anthro animals, and that doesn't bother me. It's become more normal and the people involved seem to care for their appearance more, which isn't a bad thing either.

But it seems like it's also become more cliquey, more of a popularity contest, and there's a lot more one-upsmanship... which is sad because it goes against of the great traditions of the furry fandom is how accessible it is. There are no barriers to entry. You don't even need to own a costume. There's no initiation ceremony to perform and you don't have to move up in rank to go from a partial fursuit to a fullsuit... somebody actually asked me if this was the case at a con once.

Yep..welcome to the main stream.

I don't think that its is so much "Main Stream" (and I hope to god it never goes there, and I don't think it can or will) but that after a decade of defending our name, putting our best people forward, and portraying ourselves as acceptable, well its attracted a lot of good acceptable, responsible people. The sad news is that these people can tend to shun the other walks of life in this Fandom which is a shame. I think the main reason for this is because Furries don't know our culture's history. We are not born Furry (yet) and are not told stories passed down from generation to generation. If you don't know where you've been, then you cant really decide where to go, and things get lost. I think that the key to keeping the traditions of openness and welcoming love is to educate Furries about our history. Most new Furries within the last 3 years down even know the bitter relationship between Furries and /b/ and Anonymous. A lot of Furries think that Furry Fandom started with FA! I need to do some educating.

"defending our name, putting our best people forward, and portraying ourselves as acceptable"

Why, though. I even catch myself doing it. Whhhhy do we care so much? Usually, I end up laughing at myself. I joined this goofy fandom because I don't like being like other people. If people choose to think I'm a furfag instead of getting to know me before judging me, fuck em'. They're not someone I'd want as friends, anyways.

"well its attracted a lot of good acceptable, responsible people. The sad news is that these people can tend to shun the other walks of life in this Fandom which is a shame."

So um..you're gonna talk about shunning people, right after you imply that there are 'good, acceptable, responsible people' as opposed to whom?

"Furries don't know our culture's history."
you mean things like the great juggalo wars, or the burned fur crusades? Dude, it was a bunch of people hanging out in their basements looking at cartoons. I'm all for people finding out more about how the fandom started, but based upon the fact that most of the furries I've met who started this whole thing seem to have turned bitter & cynical about the fandom-despite all the positive-maybe folks like that are best left behind.

"We are not born Furry (yet)"
...really? o.0

" Most new Furries within the last 3 years down even know the bitter relationship between Furries and /b/ and Anonymous."
Who caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaares, man? That immature bs is best left behind. Besides, we have stupid shit like it now. Like furries hating on bronies. Plenty of dumb in the fandom, no need to rehash old news.

" A lot of Furries think that Furry Fandom started with FA! I need to do some educating."
Have fun with that.

You saying that we don't have a history and are not a culture is just great evidence that you don't know any of it. You underestimate the importance of that "immature shit" for instance, why do you think the Fandom is so trigger happy about defending its name? Because we were involved in that dispute directly. Why do you think that Furries are more conservative about our image in general and so worried about being perceived as strange? Because we were attacked for being such. Why do you think that Furries make an active effort to suppress and hide the "creepers" in the Fandom, and are increasingly aggressive in curbing the behavior of Furs that do not conform to how we are supposed to be presenting ourselves? It's a mentality that developed directly from the days of Furries fights with /b/ and Anonymous. That's fine, except that Furries don't know that that is where it stemmed from, so there is no common ground on which to meet if we as a Fandom wanted to reverse these trends. "Who caaaaaaaaaaaaaares?" Not many people, because they don't know about it. Its not because they shouldn't care. And I'm not arguing that it wasn't immature, but that it had an impact. The smallest and stupidest of things can completely change a culture.

As to reference the Burned Furs, that is INCREDIBLY important to understanding how Furry operates and perpetuates itself to day, and even MORE important to understanding why it is specifically ONE Fandom as opposed to splintered sub Fandoms.

It may have been a bunch of people in their basements watching cartoons, but it was a bunch of people in their basements watching cartoons who by creation of a Fandom normalized homosexuality; legitimized other alternative sexualities; liberated sexuality in general, obliterated the gender binary; removed race as a playing factor to someone’s acceptance, mixed far-flung lifestyles, made class unimportant, and above all, made self-expression take importance over group conformity. Those right there are the ideologies that this Fandom was founded on, and what makes it more than a bunch of people sitting in a basement watching cartoons.

Furcons are a tradition. Fursuit Parades are a tradition. Traditions which exemplify those values held above along with limitless diversity and fun. So to say that there are no traditions and ideologies is so blatantly false and makes it incredibly apparent that you have no concept or idea of what a culture really is or the various ways it functions, or even what a culture's purpose in human life is. Your just going off of stereotypes of what is perpetuated as "culture" "religion" ect. I don't understand why the things I say offend you so much, but it got you to write two long responses of attack with sarcasm to try to deflate me, but as the saying goes "If you aren't pissing people off, you're not doing something right."

I read all that. I've been in the fandom since the late 80's. Furries let stupid shit get to them, plain and simple. Do what you want and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. It doesn't get more complicated than that.

You're basically saying that the very things the furry fandom provided people an escape from are the very things it now needs to go and adopt, namely conforming to ideology and tradition.

Its a product of a culture that is self defining. It changes quickly over time, and with an influx of people comes an influx ideas. This isn't a bad thing, because this Fandom functions Very well with diversity. However, kind of like me, it's change produces nostalgia. A lot of people would be tempted to go backward, try to make a move in the conservative direction and turn the tide around. The futility of this is obvious, I think, and nor would going backward be a good idea. backpedaling is the opposite of growth, and growth is not the problem. The problem is tradition, or the lack of educating about those traditions. Furries do not know the history of the Fandom before the point they joined. I'm genuinely excited about what this Fandom could grow into, and how it has the sleeping potential to change the entire world, but I worry about it inadvertently loosing parts of its founding ideology. That ideology isn't even written down or codified, and it isn't passed along in any kind of formal acculturation.

There is no furry tradition.

There is no ideology,
And I hope there never will be. Furry is something completely different to everyone, and neither you nor I have any right to force our idea of what furry is on others.

Please stop treating it like it's some kind of goofy religion. There are way too many of those out there as it is.

Thing is, life -is- drama. Human history -is- drama. This discussion -is- drama.

Everything is drama. It's just a matter of picking the kind of drama you prefer enduring.

People who only see human history for its low points, and never weigh those low points against the high points, are going to see the world that way no matter what. There's no convincing someone bound and determined to see the crappy side of life or the things they don't like that life or anything they don't like is anything but crappy.

About the only thing you can do in the case of people like that is do your best to limit how much of an effect their negative drama has on your positive drama.

Concern yourself with the people who think your good drama is worth the pain we all inevitably cause each other, let everyone else worry about themselves.

Unfortunately, I'm not as well read as you are, at least as far as philosophy goes. I can only guess at what you mean, but it certainly feels right.

I guess I'm pretty will-to-live, then. I'm not really into power. I'd rather be there for others.

Hm. I need to read more of this, though I'll admit that I have difficulty understanding stuff like this, some times.

I could warm you up, as much as I can from far far away. And of course when I see you next. *hugs*

You are the sweetest panda in the world. Imma buy you some bamboo!

:-*