Hey all who may not notice this, but if you do...hooray ...

Lately, I've been feeling like the odd man out again. My friends all got significant other and i haven't had one since high school. I know what your thinking "oh great another emo douche bag."
I know it was my own doing cause i thought she could do better. at the time i hardly had any time for a gf and i was just starting college. She then went out with one of my former buds but i think i kinda deserved that. so i didn't care. But usually around this time of year i feel like this and i don't know why. It just feels like i don't relate to anyone enough to even HAVE a relationship. It's pretty sad, I'm normally a happy guy, just quiet. And somehow i appear intimidating, but being six four probably doesn't help. It's like I've been erased or slowly being erased as i type this. Like the ghost picture i put on here. At least i think i did. oh well any way, it just feels like i meant to be the lone wolf on the pack of friends that i have. Sure they help me out and stuff, but it just...*sigh*... i don't know, just that i'm supposed to be alone on almost a constant basis. Saddest part is I'm USED TO THIS!! I don't know what it is exact;y or why i keep feeling like this even though i know i really shouldn't...ever. there are other people with bigger problems than mine, but i think getting this out will help at least a little bit and everyone i know watches my DA account and this would make them ask questions that i don't feel like answering. this journal will be much more private and something i can randomly rant in without people constantly wondering if I'm okay. they worry too much about that as it is. Sorry for wasting your time... :)