What kinds of pressure do you experience?

Is it crushing? Does is affect everything you do?

Is it persistent? A jab every now and then throughout the day?

Is it occasional? A trigger here and there?

Honestly, I struggle with what my soul requires and the expectation of others.

It creates pressure unlike anything I've experienced before.

How can I balance the practical needs of marriage and friendship with what my gut
tells me I need to do?

I want to run free. To do whatever I want to do. To create and make things and to do
actions I require for the good of my soul.

But what I need to do on a spiritual level contradicts what others need from me.

A good example is work. I get up at 6:05am every Monday through Friday to do many
things I generally like to obtain the resources to do things I really enjoy. Yes,
I might like what I do, but I have to put up with the endless personality quirks
and neuroses of the individuals I have to deal with each work day. Some days it is
tolerable. Some days I want to howl and run.

I find that the days I feel the worst is when I haven't been paying attention to the
side of me that needs to run naked through the woods. To experience the air, the
scents, the energy of the atmosphere around me. I want to just be... wolf.

It keeps me awake at night. It invades my commute on the train. I sometimes get very
much confused as to how I should be conducting my life.

Resentment builds when I shift the blame to others. Why should I subvert my instincts
because she needs that report? Why shouldn't I just continue what I'm doing when he
needs me to do something else?

It's easy to blame others. It's lazy. I should just focus my free time on nurturing
what I need as a wolf.

And that is my struggle.