alright, I'm taking a quick break on a new painting right now to get my thoughts down.

I have found over the years that I have a new idea of what i want to do for the rest of my life just about once a day. this is really inconvenient because what I end up doing is wasting my time on a project that i hope will get me to that goal and never end up finishing it because a new idea comes up and then i start working on that and so on and so on.

Apparently this is a sign of depression (so i have read) and I really don't know what to do about it. im tired of working jobs that feel like they are only jobs a person in high school should have, but I dont want to get a job that won't help me reach my goals in life. This causes conflict because i don't know what my goals are in life. I love art, but I cant see any means of getting in the field. My best work is probably my traditional paintings, but I have no means of marketing that skill; or maybe I do and I just dont know how.

TLDR: Life is scary, and I have frequent panic attacks, and im sorry I don't get enough art done.