What you are right now is in a slump. it could be many things, the loss of a loved one, the berating from others, being used, and the feeling of being abandoned. Shit happens and while yes this slump was brought on by all the crap life loves to throw your way, it is how you handle the hell and make the best of it, or worst of it. Too many people look at the glass half empty, always wanting more and not realizing just what they have that makes them amazing and fun. As far as it comes to those that decide to be trolls, two simple words. Fuck em. They clearly cannot find their own happiness and must take it out on others who lack self confidence, and to see the misery they brought forth, makes them feel like the 'bigger man' when really, they are pathetic. Don't give a shit about what they say, what they comment about, all you should do is delete/block and continue with your life; it is Your choice if their words are allowed to get to you.

If you do decide to leave the fandom, I hope you find something new that will bring happiness. Just know while I may be silent and not comment very often, I am here if you ever need to talk.

its just been a LONG list of shit thats been adding up over the years thats really been bothering me for a long time now. You know me im a sensitive person i may grin it and bere it but it breaks me down over time and yeah i do block the assholes but it still all the lies and drama and bullshit I've crawled my way through. I'm REALLY sick of breaking down over stupid bull shit but its gotten to me.
and thank you, it does mean something to me that you would be there

Perhaps take a break from the majority of the fandom then? Still do what you want, draw, make suits, talk to your friends but just keep to those and fuck posting shit here until you feel more wanting to and not feel as if you are forcing yourself? Maybe even go on a small vacation? Get away from the day to day bs you deal with every day? Weather is getting nicer, you can find a free camp ground and go camping, lose yourself out in the woods and not have any tech for a weekend and see what happens?

that sounds like good idea actually may have to just loose myself in bothell for a little while since thats where im at currently

I may not comment on everything you post but I do read everything, I do care and I do worry about you and how you're doing. Which is why I read every journal to see what's going on and to make sure that you're okay. With everything that's happened between you and Chris to you being without a job, I worry and I care I just don't comment a lot cause you don't hardly reply.

i reply when i have the internet >o<

do you still have a phone?

yup

Awesome I'll txt ya