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Apr 02: Allergies & Scheduling
11 years ago
|██████████|BODY
|██████████|MIND
|██████████|SOUL
Status: Eeeeh
|██████████|Will To Art
█ Getting this journal started wasn't what I'd call easy. Due to the stress related breakdown a couple of months ago I've found that it also had some... lingering effects on me that I don't have any sort of direct control over. For those who don't know I'm allergic to stress, as in an actual allergy. I'm well aware of the joke "I'm allergic to stress" but for me I get itchy, break out rashes, and if it's bad hives. It's not something that would kill me or anything, but it is... unpleasant. For the past few days every time I think about doing art, streaming, or even writing this journal I start feeling the pins and needles of the beginnings of feeling itchy alongside with patches of my skin turning red. It's something I can probably get over if I can decouple the stress related with doing this things, but it's not easy. There's little bits of pressure from various sources and it's all manifesting itself in my allergy and I'm doing what I can to try and take the pressure off, but it's not easy. I apologize for my emotional weakness and instability, something I'm sure people will say I don't need to apologize for but it comes with the territory of the mental state I hold.
At any rate I'm writing this journal to once again make things 'real' for me. Written down words (or I guess typed out) do have far more substance than the stuff that floats around inside my own head. I probably need to do such things more often because my mind has a strong tendency to put things off till later or till "I feel like it" if it's all just inside my head. The obvious yet not quite-so-easy solution is to give myself a schedule and go by it. Certainly I try to set some kind of routine for myself every now and then, but often I end up falling into cycles of bad habits. This is probably in part due to me never actually writing down and committing to a more proper daily routine... which I'll be putting into a text document and altering it as needed. Will probably include things such as when to sleep, wake-up, time to try and do something 'creative' and the like. Won't know how successful this initial push will be as I am still stressing over and apprehensive about the whole thing. In any event I sort of want to try and stream/art for 3-5 days out of the week. The adhering to scheduling aside it just goes back to the other problem of managing the stress so I don't get the feeling of itchy pins and needles all over my body.
|██████████|MIND
|██████████|SOUL
Status: Eeeeh
|██████████|Will To Art
█ Getting this journal started wasn't what I'd call easy. Due to the stress related breakdown a couple of months ago I've found that it also had some... lingering effects on me that I don't have any sort of direct control over. For those who don't know I'm allergic to stress, as in an actual allergy. I'm well aware of the joke "I'm allergic to stress" but for me I get itchy, break out rashes, and if it's bad hives. It's not something that would kill me or anything, but it is... unpleasant. For the past few days every time I think about doing art, streaming, or even writing this journal I start feeling the pins and needles of the beginnings of feeling itchy alongside with patches of my skin turning red. It's something I can probably get over if I can decouple the stress related with doing this things, but it's not easy. There's little bits of pressure from various sources and it's all manifesting itself in my allergy and I'm doing what I can to try and take the pressure off, but it's not easy. I apologize for my emotional weakness and instability, something I'm sure people will say I don't need to apologize for but it comes with the territory of the mental state I hold.
At any rate I'm writing this journal to once again make things 'real' for me. Written down words (or I guess typed out) do have far more substance than the stuff that floats around inside my own head. I probably need to do such things more often because my mind has a strong tendency to put things off till later or till "I feel like it" if it's all just inside my head. The obvious yet not quite-so-easy solution is to give myself a schedule and go by it. Certainly I try to set some kind of routine for myself every now and then, but often I end up falling into cycles of bad habits. This is probably in part due to me never actually writing down and committing to a more proper daily routine... which I'll be putting into a text document and altering it as needed. Will probably include things such as when to sleep, wake-up, time to try and do something 'creative' and the like. Won't know how successful this initial push will be as I am still stressing over and apprehensive about the whole thing. In any event I sort of want to try and stream/art for 3-5 days out of the week. The adhering to scheduling aside it just goes back to the other problem of managing the stress so I don't get the feeling of itchy pins and needles all over my body.
In my case, I don't have a physical reaction to stress, but a high degree of general and specific anxiety that gets in the way of accomplishing what I want to. And I tell myself that it's silly, because the anxiety creates a cycle and thus perpetuates itself, but it's still the sort of thing that happens whether I like it or not, no matter how logical I try to be about it. Even after conquering it for a while, it'll sneak up and I won't even realize it sometimes.
But there are methods to cope. Although I fear they are different for everyone, there is some common ground, and I would be happy to offer any advice I can. I'm by no means an expert, but battling this sort of thing on a daily basis, and talking with others similarly afflicted, does provide a decent framework for understanding it.
I think making a schedule for yourself is an excellent idea. I've tried it, and found it to be immensely useful. I think just externalizing some of what you're thinking, organizing it into something concrete, provides a lot of relief. It diminishes the feeling of having everything jumble around in your head. It also gives you something to strive for in the short term and breaks things down to one task at a time, making things more manageable.
I've also had periods of it working for short bursts before drifting back away from it. That doesn't mean it will happen to you, but if it does, please don't feel discouraged. Every time you have some success, it becomes a little easier and a little more permanent the next time. And I know it seems like a cliche, but thinking positively really does help a lot.
Whenever I stress I can feel it in my spine, I once stressed out so much that my spine was litterally making cracking
noises, ever since then I decided to take it easy and take life more joyful myself, seemed to work though
though it wasn't easy to handle with stress in the first period of trying to keep it down.
But severe social anxiety is so hard to work around! Especially if it's ramping up and whatnot. It can do havoc to your health ;-;
But your comics are always seem so social, which is really unique and cool, and I hope you know that in your heart ^-^
Two years ago, I took on a journey with the expectation that it would be the most enjoyable years of my life. While the first few weeks were amazing, the stress of new responsibilities took its toll. 7 months down the road, I was left completely burnt out. My life lost meaning, my motivation gone. My passions no longer brought me joy. My time was spent, not dealing or finding solutions to the stress, but rather escaping to other realities. When a break finally came, it gave me time to reflect. Instead of answers, I found more things to worry about and question.
As the journey continued, more responsibilities came. More work, more stress, more...realities of life. Every week living hell. I had a breakdown 3 weeks ago. I wake up some time in the afternoon, when it was expected to be in the morning. My responsibilities went undone. I ask myself daily: what am I doing with my life?. Fear of death from the crossing of each road, the possibility of failure at every obstacle. Depression.
Around me, I find many who've given up. Of those who do, many fade into obscurity. Yet there are still those who carry on. Many of these who survive, proceed to greatness. Greatness unmatched. Of those who've survived the journey before, some become great leaders of men, innovators of the future, remembered for their deeds far beyond their lifetime.
For me, there are some 6 weeks left of this most current struggle, and 3 more years of the journey. I am optimistic that I will be able to survive, but it will undoubtedly leave me changed. Take pride in your work that it brings happiness to real people. And that, for some, the confessions made here bring peace to their souls. For I, am one of them.
-Tyrant
When I'm stressed I either: Draw, paint, sing, listen to music, go for a walk/ run/ hike, walk my dogs in the neighborhood, go fishing, make costumes, etc.
I also find that going Treasure Hunting (at Swap Meets or Thrift Stores) really perk up my day when I find something I REALLY want, even though I didn't expect to find it.
If drawing stresses you, then don't draw... take a break... do it on YOUR own time. Do not feel like you are obligated or that you owe somebody something. Even if you did owe art, let the people know that YOU go at YOUR own pace. That's what I do.
Sometimes when I get stressed out or can't think, I go on a walk down a street that has little or no traffic. Somewhere quiet that helps me think with some fresh air to help. I get some really cool ideas when that happens.
Now maybe that something not for you, but it's like some people here say. You need to find something to help you with your stress. I hope things will get better for you soon.