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Just a Vent Journal
11 years ago
General
Kinda got into a bit of a slum :/ Im just writing this to vent out a bit to clear my head.
lost my uncle to old age, then 3 weeks after i lost my aunt to lung cancer. wich was horrible to see her struggling to breath in the hospital the day she passed :c
then my cousin overdosed just the other night, from the pain of loosing her mom and dad in sucha short time..... she left 2 kids age 10 and 6 years old behind to nothing.... today
was the viewing at the crematorium before she gets creamated. Only a handfull are allowed to see her. so i never got to say goodbie. such stupid rules....
It hit me while i was at work today pretty hard, that i just lost almost an entire family
in a months time, and i just broke down crying pretty hard.
Now my mom and dad keeps telling me how proud they are of me and how much they love me today. It scares me so much to loose them. my dad has been taken to the hospital almost 5 times in the past 2 months for problems he wont tell me about. ... and i catch him acting so odd sometimes. he forgets my name, he ... just does odd shit like pace the floor or stand at the door for hours looking outside at nothing.
and ontop of that shit my mom went into a regular physical 2 weeks ago and she got bad news she wont tell me... i keep buggin her about it but the only hints i get is she might have cancer somewhare.
How bad has this got to be??? I dont want to loose all my family so soon.... what the fuck is going on!
Right when things go great for my life. fantastic job, loving fiance, adorable son . got caught up on all my bills and now ill be getting a new car and selling my old one. i got an amazing best friend. and a bunch of other great friends now too. have my fursuit and been going to furmeets, might be moving into a 3 story house with my couple friends that have 2 adoreable little girls that i love to bits and my son loves to play with.. just everything has been amazing. but then its like my world is crumbling around me.
my mind has been clouded with all the thoughts of death and depression. Ive had no spark to draw or craft of any sort.
I really need to get my head out of this slum...
lost my uncle to old age, then 3 weeks after i lost my aunt to lung cancer. wich was horrible to see her struggling to breath in the hospital the day she passed :c
then my cousin overdosed just the other night, from the pain of loosing her mom and dad in sucha short time..... she left 2 kids age 10 and 6 years old behind to nothing.... today
was the viewing at the crematorium before she gets creamated. Only a handfull are allowed to see her. so i never got to say goodbie. such stupid rules....
It hit me while i was at work today pretty hard, that i just lost almost an entire family
in a months time, and i just broke down crying pretty hard.
Now my mom and dad keeps telling me how proud they are of me and how much they love me today. It scares me so much to loose them. my dad has been taken to the hospital almost 5 times in the past 2 months for problems he wont tell me about. ... and i catch him acting so odd sometimes. he forgets my name, he ... just does odd shit like pace the floor or stand at the door for hours looking outside at nothing.
and ontop of that shit my mom went into a regular physical 2 weeks ago and she got bad news she wont tell me... i keep buggin her about it but the only hints i get is she might have cancer somewhare.
How bad has this got to be??? I dont want to loose all my family so soon.... what the fuck is going on!
Right when things go great for my life. fantastic job, loving fiance, adorable son . got caught up on all my bills and now ill be getting a new car and selling my old one. i got an amazing best friend. and a bunch of other great friends now too. have my fursuit and been going to furmeets, might be moving into a 3 story house with my couple friends that have 2 adoreable little girls that i love to bits and my son loves to play with.. just everything has been amazing. but then its like my world is crumbling around me.
my mind has been clouded with all the thoughts of death and depression. Ive had no spark to draw or craft of any sort.
I really need to get my head out of this slum...
losing people is always hard, even worse when it happens so close together, I hope your parents will be ok
sorry I'm not so good with words sometimes :(
I hope you will try to focus on the good things in your life, despite all the death and sadness that has surrounded you. Life is a gift to be cherished, every moment.