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Scared
19 years ago
Emo Journal, so read on your own risk...
yeah just like you read, im scared... when i was in the bus that brought me to my city i started thinking,
"Well Jonathan, you�ll get your passport soon, and you�ll be going to Spain, leaving almost everything behind you" at first i tought that i was excited, and seriously i was, but then something popped onto my mind, something a friend told me like, 3 weeks before, he was talking about his boyfriend, "I talked with him again last night, and everytime i talk with him i fall more in love with him" i felt happy for them at that moment, but when i was in the bus i started to fell envy of em, of what they had... i realized that maybe, im alone, at first i tought that i wanted to be alone, i wanted to be the only responsable of whatever could happen to me, and actually that what i�ve been triyng to do all my life, but i�ve always have had my family next to me, supporting me, helping me, taking care of me, and now just thinking that im gonna be like 6000 miles away from them scares me alot, i�ve always been the "older-overprotective brother", the "son that never leaves the house in case mom needs him", the "friend that always helps dad in whatever he needs to do at home", i�ve always taked care of them, cause i love them to much! and now (probably january 6) i wont be there to take care of them, im sacerd of what might happen to me if im not with them, but it scares me even more, what could happen to them if im not there, the simple idea of losing them really freakes me out...
so, resuming.... Im Scared, im scared of being alone, im scared of leaving my family alone... thats all, the art-trades, requests, gift-arts, and all that stuff will have to wait a lil till i feel better, im sorry if im making you angry cause of that, dont spect me to answer your comments on this journal, in fact, i dont expect you to comment on this journal, im just submiting this so that you all know the reason of why i will probably be out of drawing to much time...
c ya later
yeah just like you read, im scared... when i was in the bus that brought me to my city i started thinking,
"Well Jonathan, you�ll get your passport soon, and you�ll be going to Spain, leaving almost everything behind you" at first i tought that i was excited, and seriously i was, but then something popped onto my mind, something a friend told me like, 3 weeks before, he was talking about his boyfriend, "I talked with him again last night, and everytime i talk with him i fall more in love with him" i felt happy for them at that moment, but when i was in the bus i started to fell envy of em, of what they had... i realized that maybe, im alone, at first i tought that i wanted to be alone, i wanted to be the only responsable of whatever could happen to me, and actually that what i�ve been triyng to do all my life, but i�ve always have had my family next to me, supporting me, helping me, taking care of me, and now just thinking that im gonna be like 6000 miles away from them scares me alot, i�ve always been the "older-overprotective brother", the "son that never leaves the house in case mom needs him", the "friend that always helps dad in whatever he needs to do at home", i�ve always taked care of them, cause i love them to much! and now (probably january 6) i wont be there to take care of them, im sacerd of what might happen to me if im not with them, but it scares me even more, what could happen to them if im not there, the simple idea of losing them really freakes me out...
so, resuming.... Im Scared, im scared of being alone, im scared of leaving my family alone... thats all, the art-trades, requests, gift-arts, and all that stuff will have to wait a lil till i feel better, im sorry if im making you angry cause of that, dont spect me to answer your comments on this journal, in fact, i dont expect you to comment on this journal, im just submiting this so that you all know the reason of why i will probably be out of drawing to much time...
c ya later
BUT BUT BUT it may be different for you! ^^ You may have someone to live with. If you aren't going to live alone and you know the people you're going to be with, so you shouldn't worry so much. In my case, I would be all alone..^^"
....Iiii think I didn't help you much..^.^"
It'll make you forget all these things, oh, the ...salty NATA ;] *inside joke LAWL*