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This is ENOUGH!
11 years ago
Okay, so I'm pretty much known for my near-infinite patience, but I've had enough of this and I need to say it publibly.
LEAVE
kogie
THE FUCK
ALONE.
PLEASE!
I'm not mad, I don't get mad. To be honest it depresses and exhausts me more than anything else. I break my back working in a clothing warehouse to take care of us, and it breaks my heart to want to come home and just be happy and relax, and come home to some newfound drama because someone's upset my mate, not in a casual little drama lama way, but in a genuinely hurtful one.
I think the biggest reason this happens is because people don't understand Kogie, what he's been through, the serious emotional and mental issues and scars he bears.
That infinite patience I mentioned earlier? Sometimes that's the last little thread that holds the two of us together so we can make up again after a fight. This constant badgering by other people has caused the slightest things I've said to blow up into shouting I don't deserve. A couple weeks ago it made me talking about money blow up into him calling himself quote 'worthless and hurtful to me and nothing else' in a bipolar fit. That is not true, period.
He's been backstabbed by friends and family, he's been looked down on for his mental diseases, he's been raped though his childhood and adult life, homeless 5 times (once while we've been living together), he's lost two young sons that his family will not acknowledge ever existed. He lost the love of his life to blind human cruelty early in his 20's. He has a learning disability, he's viciously bipolar, and a slew of other emotional, mental, and physical issues that I'm not forgetting but I thing I've made my point. He's been told by every psychic and mystic out that he's seen that he won't live to be 30, which is in June, and sometimes with the stress he's under, it genuinely worries me that he wont.
I do not take him lightly. I gave up a comfortable life with my family to be with him, I gave up chasing my dream job, which I have the college degree for, ready to go and everything, to be with him. I bust my ass in a warehouse to stay living with him.
Do you think I did all that because it seemed like the smart thing? No, I did it because I love him and it was the right thing at the times I made these decisions for his benefit, and because I love him.
If he's read this, he's mad right now. He hates being reminded of all this. He hates that I'm the first mate he's had that has had to take care of him rather than him taking care of me. I don't care that I have had to do these things, and continue to. That's where our lives are at right now. Change for the better will come in time. I haven't given up on being a 3D modeler and animator for video games, it's just on hold at the moment.
People ask me all the time, "Why are you still with him, you're so smart and talented etc... ?" The simple answer is that love and loyalty are more important to me than any selfish personal ambition. I'm working on what I want out of life, and I have plenty of years to work with.
So PLEASE, I'm not demanding, yelling, or bitching, I'm PLEADING with anyone associated with my mate. Stop all this nonsense, it's hurting him and the people around him by constantly altering his mood toward anger, frustration, and depression.
...and babe? I love you. I know you'd rather this all wasn't in the air like this. I just want you to be happy. I want to be happy. I don't want to flaunt our problems like some damn Purple Heart to get leniency and sympathy. I just want this to stop so we can be happy again.
To anyone who listens, thank you. I hope that this gets directed to people associated with Kogie or that know him. I stick my nose where it doesn't belong to help solve the issue, and so be it if I have to. I just needed to get this off my chest.
LEAVE
kogieTHE FUCK
ALONE.
PLEASE!
I'm not mad, I don't get mad. To be honest it depresses and exhausts me more than anything else. I break my back working in a clothing warehouse to take care of us, and it breaks my heart to want to come home and just be happy and relax, and come home to some newfound drama because someone's upset my mate, not in a casual little drama lama way, but in a genuinely hurtful one.
I think the biggest reason this happens is because people don't understand Kogie, what he's been through, the serious emotional and mental issues and scars he bears.
That infinite patience I mentioned earlier? Sometimes that's the last little thread that holds the two of us together so we can make up again after a fight. This constant badgering by other people has caused the slightest things I've said to blow up into shouting I don't deserve. A couple weeks ago it made me talking about money blow up into him calling himself quote 'worthless and hurtful to me and nothing else' in a bipolar fit. That is not true, period.
He's been backstabbed by friends and family, he's been looked down on for his mental diseases, he's been raped though his childhood and adult life, homeless 5 times (once while we've been living together), he's lost two young sons that his family will not acknowledge ever existed. He lost the love of his life to blind human cruelty early in his 20's. He has a learning disability, he's viciously bipolar, and a slew of other emotional, mental, and physical issues that I'm not forgetting but I thing I've made my point. He's been told by every psychic and mystic out that he's seen that he won't live to be 30, which is in June, and sometimes with the stress he's under, it genuinely worries me that he wont.
I do not take him lightly. I gave up a comfortable life with my family to be with him, I gave up chasing my dream job, which I have the college degree for, ready to go and everything, to be with him. I bust my ass in a warehouse to stay living with him.
Do you think I did all that because it seemed like the smart thing? No, I did it because I love him and it was the right thing at the times I made these decisions for his benefit, and because I love him.
If he's read this, he's mad right now. He hates being reminded of all this. He hates that I'm the first mate he's had that has had to take care of him rather than him taking care of me. I don't care that I have had to do these things, and continue to. That's where our lives are at right now. Change for the better will come in time. I haven't given up on being a 3D modeler and animator for video games, it's just on hold at the moment.
People ask me all the time, "Why are you still with him, you're so smart and talented etc... ?" The simple answer is that love and loyalty are more important to me than any selfish personal ambition. I'm working on what I want out of life, and I have plenty of years to work with.
So PLEASE, I'm not demanding, yelling, or bitching, I'm PLEADING with anyone associated with my mate. Stop all this nonsense, it's hurting him and the people around him by constantly altering his mood toward anger, frustration, and depression.
...and babe? I love you. I know you'd rather this all wasn't in the air like this. I just want you to be happy. I want to be happy. I don't want to flaunt our problems like some damn Purple Heart to get leniency and sympathy. I just want this to stop so we can be happy again.
To anyone who listens, thank you. I hope that this gets directed to people associated with Kogie or that know him. I stick my nose where it doesn't belong to help solve the issue, and so be it if I have to. I just needed to get this off my chest.
Thank you for your response, very much.