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Time for a Heart-to-Heart [Rant about religion and stuff]
11 years ago
General
Time for a heart-to-heart. (Warning, huge, opinionated rant about religion [by which I really mean Christianity] incoming)
I am very liberal. Like, really liberal, as far as Americans go. I tend to refer to myself as a socialist, and I believe that social equality and freedom must come above all else, including (and especially) money. I believe that capitalism is a bad thing. At least without major limitations.
Now, that being said, oftentimes liberalism and religion don't go so well together. And it's something I've struggled with my whole life. 99% of my family is Christian (Protestant), with my father being the only real exception, although my mother is pretty liberal and unimposing for a Christian. Growing up, I never prayed at the table before dinner or went to church on a regular basis or anything like that, but my mother did try to teach me about Christianity and what was in the Bible. And of course, whenever we went to see the rest of the family, we had to do those more traditional things. When I was young, I accepted what she taught me, although I admittedly never gave it much thought myself. When we moved to where I live now, which is a very liberal area, I was confronted for the first time in my life with the idea that all of this might be wrong. Even though I was still pretty young, the other kids would often give me something along the lines of "You really believe that stuff?" when it came up for one reason or another.
This was when I began to really contemplate religion for the first time. Before, I always just accepted what I was told. I never thought about it for myself. Well, the more I contemplated, the more I found loopholes in the reasoning, or things that didn't make sense, or things I just didn't agree with. What stuck out the most was how judgmental, hateful and horrible so many Christians could be, mainly on the issue of gay marriage and other LGBT issues. I had absolutely no desire to be associated with these people. So, for a while, I would identify as Christian, but would immediately say "I'm not one of THOSE Christians." But, there will still all the things that I didn't agree with, that didn't make sense. So, I began to call myself religious, but not Christian.
As time went on, these faults in Christian theology (I'd rather not get into that, that's a whole 'nother rant.) became more and more apparent to me, and began to spread to my current identity as simply "religious." Again, one of the biggest, most glaring issues was the way that religion treated social change - as a bad thing! I'd like to spare the personal details, but I soon came to a point where I had to make a choice between God, and what I really felt to be right. And I went with my gut, as I always do. And I don't regret it. However, I never spoke a word about this personal struggle for years. It was just too personal, and I feared the judgment of my family.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am not opposed to the idea of abstract, non-physical stuff, or whatever, existing. I don't really believe in an intelligent creator, and certainly not an all-powerful or omnipotent one, but I'm open to some forms of spirituality (again, not something I want to get into right now). So, for a couple years now, I have identified as either simply spiritual, or agnostic. Not religious, but not atheist either. I don't believe I ever will call myself a full-on atheist, but who knows.
Now, even with my denouncement of religion, I have still defended religion/religious people for a very long time. I of course denounced the folks who were discriminatory, sexist, homophobic, etc. But aside from all that, I actively defended it against the many people who actively hate religion and belittle it and those who are a part of it. This was largely because of my family. I love my family, and I respect their life choices and their beliefs, and they have every right to believe what they do in peace.
But, recently I've been faced with a dilemma. I've been thinking and contemplating everything, as I often do, and I've come to a realization. And it's one that I fought and ignored for many years. That is, Christianity is one of the largest reasons why the United States is so socially behind the rest of the developed world. Christianity is one of the chief obstacles to feminism and women's rights, LGBT rights, sexual acceptance and positivity, etc etc. It is much more widely practiced here than in most developed nations, and if you compare the practicing folks from many other countries and here, I think you will find that on a whole, the ones here tend to be more extreme. This is a problem, for multiple reasons. One reason, which is why I started this rant in the first place, is the issue of my defending it. As much as it hurts me, because this does make me feel a bit as if I am turning my back on my family, I cannot condone something that has proved to be such an obstacle for the things that I stand for and believe in the most. On the other hand, I do believe in freedom of religion, and its practice so long as it's not hurting anyone else or infringing upon their rights. I'm stuck in a bit of a conundrum here. A big part of me wants to completely denounce and refuse to support anything that has anything to do with Christianity; another significant part of me does not want to do that, but doesn't really know what to do instead.
Any thoughts on this? I love a healthy discussion, but I'm not going to change my personal beliefs so nobody even bring that up. I would prefer a more general discussion about the idea and phenomena which I have described, rather than my personal involvement in it. 
I also like to think that you don't need religion to be a good-natured person. I think that many people are naturally loving and caring and good, some just get jaded along the way. But like I said, if religion does happen to enrich their lives and be a positive force for them, I'm all for that. I just can't handle the negativity that seems to be so prevalent, at least in my experience.
2nd. While the bible does say that being gay is immoral. It never says that it is a sin. Therefore it is not wrong to be gay. It goes against the normal morals of society. But it is not bad to be gay. Plus with the rule of love in the bible one should love those that are different. The superb underlying commandment "Love thy neighbor as thyself" Is the one God law that most all Christians break. And a majority of "Christians" fail to adhere to this.
I also agree that you dont need religion to be good natured, but it helps as religions, not just chritianity, usually have guidelines to help you be morally straight and kind to others.
And to prove to the world that you are a different christian, you can act differently if you wanted. Plus being labeled as different, or saying im not one of those christians, I dont think what others think about you matters. what matters is what you do and what God ultimately sees that your heart is in the right place.
I've already made up my mind that it's not for me, and I think I would have eventually come to this conclusion even if all Christians were wonderful and tolerant. But I still respect people's freedom to believe what they want and practice as they please - so long as they're not hurting anyone else or infringing upon their rights. Honestly, if all Christians were like you there would be no problem in the first place, in my opinion.
My real problem with evangelical Christianity is when its followers want to subject children to a compulsory study of their faith. That and when they want to infringe on the constitutional and human rights of those who do not follow their beliefs, similar to you. But I don't think that religion is the causative factor. My best analogy is a sun of intolerance focused through a lens of religion that burns poor little ants like you and me. But I am always hesitant to deal with absolutes because that is the territory of religion, heh heh