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Quick apparent-absence note.
11 years ago
Just saying that it'll be pretty hard to art with people here for ten days. And all the accumulated guilt of me not studying.
On the other hand, I'll start practicing something: doing two commissions at a time, alternating between them. My main problem isn't the lineart or anything, really. Those are done in 3 days - 1 week...but I'm taking nearly a month to deliver each. The reason? LAZYNESS. The few days I do art, it's just an hour, maybe two. Part of that if my genuine fear of failure mixed with negativity (affects me in games too: I tend to cheat hard in games due to fear of doing badly, then restart once I realize the game became boring as shit). As a result, just THINKING of arting already engages me in procrastination mode. You know, the classic "Ah, well...uh, maybe later..." line.
Plus, I might have to go back to my shrink. I'm having some really shitty ADD moments. I just can't concentrate or make a single choice in anything. Always changing, going back, restarting, etc. And also because I've been pretty...I dunno. Down, I guess. You know, when nothing excites you at all. Might also be piled worry/guilt too. Especially with that whole GF-ish business. Kinda makes me guilty to even be in this relationship, as I'm the kind of person that -does not- enjoy being out with people. Unless they're very close and very similar to me.
Oh well. Let's stop here before I rant forever. And restart games again because cheatings. e.e
On the other hand, I'll start practicing something: doing two commissions at a time, alternating between them. My main problem isn't the lineart or anything, really. Those are done in 3 days - 1 week...but I'm taking nearly a month to deliver each. The reason? LAZYNESS. The few days I do art, it's just an hour, maybe two. Part of that if my genuine fear of failure mixed with negativity (affects me in games too: I tend to cheat hard in games due to fear of doing badly, then restart once I realize the game became boring as shit). As a result, just THINKING of arting already engages me in procrastination mode. You know, the classic "Ah, well...uh, maybe later..." line.
Plus, I might have to go back to my shrink. I'm having some really shitty ADD moments. I just can't concentrate or make a single choice in anything. Always changing, going back, restarting, etc. And also because I've been pretty...I dunno. Down, I guess. You know, when nothing excites you at all. Might also be piled worry/guilt too. Especially with that whole GF-ish business. Kinda makes me guilty to even be in this relationship, as I'm the kind of person that -does not- enjoy being out with people. Unless they're very close and very similar to me.
Oh well. Let's stop here before I rant forever. And restart games again because cheatings. e.e
Also, I can sympathize with that meh down ness. >.<
At least I found the "Make Puff Happy" adjustment screw (aka the fuel/air mix) on my little generator, which due to EPA bullcrap has found itself copiously missing from most modern small engines. >.< Well, props to that company for putting it on anyways as a big fat friggin' phillips screw on the side of the carb that just screams "Adjust me!".
Guess THAT's why this model's not California approved. :3
No worries on not being around, we'll still be here when you have time again. It's appreciated letting us know what's going on.
I hope some of the other, non-art things do end up working out well for you though!