I think I finally know the cause behind the depression and anxiety.........................
The idea of rewarding careers, professional opportunities, career advancement, and all that corporate stuff I've been hearing about ever since I started grad school....

I though that's what I wanted that is what was best for my future....
It's not... I just want a job I can like or least deal with so I can enjoy my personal life and my interests.

So that's it.. I'm done.. This is literally killing me... I can't handle it anymore...
I am dropping grad school.. it's not for me and I can't do it not right now at least.. maybe in a few years or maybe I will never come back... I don't know.. all I know is right now grad school is hurting me more than it's helping...

All this professionalism, talk of opportunities, advancement, the environment of a business like program... I have felt out of place ever since I came to grad school. It's not me, it's not who I am and I can't live two lives.. i've tried and it nearly destroyed me...

So I'm done...