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Everybody has their moments.
17 years ago
General
First, I just want to say that this website is browsed by some younger people. Isn't it? ...what's with the porn ads at the bottom of the page? I know this is a little late, but I'm pretty sure it's ridiculous when you start advertising MANLY, FURRY SMUT on a website that caters to all ages. (If you turn the filters on do you not get those ads?)
Anyway, that's not what I got on to write about. I have just been thinking lately, and I figured I'd write down what I been thinking because I feel like it. First off, I find myself way too often wishing that there was more to this world than there really is. I don't know really how to describe it, other than preternatural things. The things I read about in fantasy/fiction books. When I think of my life I just want to shout at how incredibly BORING it is. I even think its not good for me to go on a fantasy binge because it KILLS me when I re-emerge from my books and I realize I'm going to be back in the same routine every day. Books have to be the worse for me. Video games are there, but they don't pull me in like books. I've re-read some of my favorite series most recently, and I did it so fast that I'm caught up in it, wishing I was there.
I think that's some of the reason why I'm drawn to this fandom. I can see a picture with a fucking werewolf and grasp it. I see animals TALKING. That's not real, but that's where my mind wanders. Be whatever you want to be, do whatever you want to do. (Granted most furries just want to fuck but whatever.) I don't consider myself a furry either. That's crossing the line to me. I can imagine myself in any situation and yet I don't let my mind wander past that forbidden zone. I DON'T want to be known as a furry. I DON'T have any interest in changing my handle to SKY-THE-HORSEFOX and having people call me that when they see me. If my friends knew I lurked around on this site, I would be ridiculed. As an example, when I was younger I had an affinity for wolves. Not an obsession, but I liked them. I thought they were so cool, so I had some pictures and such of them but to this day (almost everything I had is gone) I still here of it. If someone sees something with a wolf they're all: "Boyd why don't you get that? You're obsessed with wolves right? Haha" ..and this place? I get lost in here for a little while everyday and that's fine. But if someone knew I came here, I don't know what I would do. I wish I knew someone else who was on here personally, but that's nt the kind of people I grew up around (obviously).
I'm an ordinary guy. There is NOTHING special about me. I'm 19 (gonna be 20 soon), I have friends at school, I have friends at home, I'm an AVERAGE student, I'm an AVERAGE swimmer (my sport of choice even in college), I'm an AVERAGE friend. Maybe that's what makes me want to walk into the woods and see something people aren't supposed to see. Maybe that's what makes me want to be a part of something unreal. I'm so ordinary it hurts. I have never had a real relationship. I don't have a "love of my life" and I haven't even been in that position. I'm ingrained with Christian morals so much that when a girl kissed me for new years and decided to bring her tongue into the equation, I freaked out. My mind told me that was WRONG. ...but it's not. Who the FUCK worries about that? (And obviously if that bothered me you should know I'm a virgin. I'm such a good child.)
I wish I could immerse myself in un-reality.
Maybe I should stop reading those books and give up on imagination, because I want it to be real so much sometimes that I become ridiculous.
I wish I could work up the patience to write my own stories. I've tried it before but failed because I get frustrated and give up. That's another thing I'm average at. I gave up on the drawing because it was simply imitations of others. I don't want to be an imitation. I don't want to be average.
Guess I'll just have to deal with it like any other sane person.
..everyone has their moments.
Anyway, that's not what I got on to write about. I have just been thinking lately, and I figured I'd write down what I been thinking because I feel like it. First off, I find myself way too often wishing that there was more to this world than there really is. I don't know really how to describe it, other than preternatural things. The things I read about in fantasy/fiction books. When I think of my life I just want to shout at how incredibly BORING it is. I even think its not good for me to go on a fantasy binge because it KILLS me when I re-emerge from my books and I realize I'm going to be back in the same routine every day. Books have to be the worse for me. Video games are there, but they don't pull me in like books. I've re-read some of my favorite series most recently, and I did it so fast that I'm caught up in it, wishing I was there.
I think that's some of the reason why I'm drawn to this fandom. I can see a picture with a fucking werewolf and grasp it. I see animals TALKING. That's not real, but that's where my mind wanders. Be whatever you want to be, do whatever you want to do. (Granted most furries just want to fuck but whatever.) I don't consider myself a furry either. That's crossing the line to me. I can imagine myself in any situation and yet I don't let my mind wander past that forbidden zone. I DON'T want to be known as a furry. I DON'T have any interest in changing my handle to SKY-THE-HORSEFOX and having people call me that when they see me. If my friends knew I lurked around on this site, I would be ridiculed. As an example, when I was younger I had an affinity for wolves. Not an obsession, but I liked them. I thought they were so cool, so I had some pictures and such of them but to this day (almost everything I had is gone) I still here of it. If someone sees something with a wolf they're all: "Boyd why don't you get that? You're obsessed with wolves right? Haha" ..and this place? I get lost in here for a little while everyday and that's fine. But if someone knew I came here, I don't know what I would do. I wish I knew someone else who was on here personally, but that's nt the kind of people I grew up around (obviously).
I'm an ordinary guy. There is NOTHING special about me. I'm 19 (gonna be 20 soon), I have friends at school, I have friends at home, I'm an AVERAGE student, I'm an AVERAGE swimmer (my sport of choice even in college), I'm an AVERAGE friend. Maybe that's what makes me want to walk into the woods and see something people aren't supposed to see. Maybe that's what makes me want to be a part of something unreal. I'm so ordinary it hurts. I have never had a real relationship. I don't have a "love of my life" and I haven't even been in that position. I'm ingrained with Christian morals so much that when a girl kissed me for new years and decided to bring her tongue into the equation, I freaked out. My mind told me that was WRONG. ...but it's not. Who the FUCK worries about that? (And obviously if that bothered me you should know I'm a virgin. I'm such a good child.)
I wish I could immerse myself in un-reality.
Maybe I should stop reading those books and give up on imagination, because I want it to be real so much sometimes that I become ridiculous.
I wish I could work up the patience to write my own stories. I've tried it before but failed because I get frustrated and give up. That's another thing I'm average at. I gave up on the drawing because it was simply imitations of others. I don't want to be an imitation. I don't want to be average.
Guess I'll just have to deal with it like any other sane person.
..everyone has their moments.
> As Tabaco companies say, "we need to get young people" in this case turn them into perverts... is rare that old people take much of atention to that kind of things, so is odvious. They need to get little childs, to keep getting money... (It just a joke )
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> "I can see a picture with a fucking werewolf and grasp it."
Do you mean literaly fucking .
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>Man, you really need what I get years ago. Someone to belive in you, and tell you You are not crazy. .
When I was in school, I was afreid of show my love for animals. Espesialy in art class, "look thats the freak of the animals". I always have the idea on my mind that they will laugh of me. And kill my fasination for animals, as how my parents have kill so many things in my life.
But I met a teacher that see something espesial in the doodles I made in that years. She give me courage, and from her I learn how to belive in my self, at less in art... Im such a coward.
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>There is no magic in this world. I know the heart breaking feeling.
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> You are not average, you make your self average. Trying to aparent being a normal person, because you have no one like you around. If you were normal It should not hurt you.
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> What books do you read?
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And I read all kinds of things, but most recently it has been titles by authors like Jim Butcher and Patricia Briggs. That's why it was on my mind.
...and no. Not literally fucking. lol
But can you recommend me an spesific book from this autors?
> Werewolfs, eh. I watching you, so soon or later... I gonna find out
> Why don`t you start again to make storys? and I wanna see artwork in your page .
I can`t understand that think you say, about copy others. Why you look others works, while you drawing. I usualy use pictures (animal photografs), but only for look spesific details, not copy. But the thing that make the diference (I think) is the quality of the "idea", not if the thing is realistic, if you want something realistic.... get a photo! .
I May end up trying to write again, but I'm not sure. I always get started on stuff and never finish it, but that only happens to me when I'm working on some form of artwork. Thats not in my character at all when I'm doing anything else.
--->I know that the more "productive" artist here on Fa. have develop some kind of sistem of steps, than enable to them to finish fast, and easy. But I haven`t develop any, so it cost me a lot finish works .